Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Friday night lights

It's that time again, folks. While some guys are spending time in court and getting ready to wrestle, most professional football players are packing their hyperbaric chamber into their Denali and heading to training camp. I thought I would set the mood a little with some videos. First, this one goes back to 1994 in Texas. It's high school ball, but down there, that's as serious as it gets. Plano East is down 41-17 with only 3-minutes remaining. I smell a comeback.

On a side note, that star makes me puke. Next, for some more shit from Texas, this dude makes some sick moves. I believe he's making his way into the Big10 world and attending Big Blue this fall. Keep your eyes peeled for his hurdle move. Embarrassing.

Lastly, BDawk:

LOL at the 1:53 mark.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Procrastination is calling and it misses you

I was cruising the information superhighway today and stopped by a few haunts I used to venture onto back in the day to burn some time. There is this Coloring Book Land site which adds captions to images you would find in a coloring book. They've changed it up a little since my last visit. There used to be cheesy music repeating in the background that made it feel like a 50's commercial.

A colleague of mine clued me into Cliff Yablonski. I recall wanting to quit reading at page 3 but ended up clicking my way through the entire collection. Of course those were my Indiana days, and truthfully, there isn't much else to do.

If online comic strips that are updated daily are your fancy, let me suggest Least I Could Do. Starting from the first strip and reading up to the current is an excellent way to waste time which should be spent writing a thesis. Damn you Rayne Summers.

For those of you at the festivities in AC this past weekend, this video should conjure up a chuckle.

That's beautiful, man.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Deathmatch Counterpunch: Best Beers

While I'm probably no where near thope on the alcoholic scale, I do have a tendency to enjoy good beer. The only thing better than good beer is good herb. Word.

Grimbergen Dubbel
This is an abbey (yes, it was originally brewed by monks starting in the 12th century or something - beer brewed with the power of the holy spirit!) beer that I had the privilege of consuming while in Brussels, Belgium. I remember it was dark and delicious...just like thope enjoys his women! I keed, I keed! haha. Belgium has some great beer, unfortunately I can't remember any others. I definitely told myself this was my favorite, which is why I remember its name.

Newcastle Brown Ale
You can find this pretty much anywhere, so the whole imported thing is kinda dumb. It is probably my favorite beer that is commonly found in bars and liquor stores. If the bar has it on tap, I stick with it. That is unless they have some delicious microbrews or something.

Bell's Best Brown Ale
I love Bell's, which is a brewery in Galesburg, Michigan. I might even go so far as to say it's the best brewery in the Midwest. I was torn between the four brands of theirs that I have tried, but I love the brown ales. Also delicious are the following: Two Hearted Ale, Amber Ale, and Consecrator Doppelbock. The best brown ale is a seasonal, so I've only had it a couple times. If you ever get a chance, give Bell's a try.

Barley John's Wild Brunette
Ok, this is kinda random, but Barley John's is a great brew pub probably six miles from my house. I've been there a few times and their beer is amazing. Their monday happy hour goes nonstop all afternoon until midnight, which can be troublesome. The Wild Brunette is made from wild rice, and is my personal favorite. Not only is the beer here delicious, but the alcohol percentages range from 5-15%. They also have a wimpy 3.5, but I've never tried it. That's for children. Notice the irony in that statement...I'm so clever! I think I'm going to touch myself in congratulation!

Summit Winter Ale
A seasonal ale from Summit brewery in St. Paul, Minnesota. They have other great types, too. Their beers are actually kind of expensive considering it's a local brewery, but what are you going to do?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Phriday Philler: I'm on vacation

You heard me. I am going on vacation starting today. No fainting goats updates from me until mid-next week at the earliest. Maybe someone else will post something, but I doubt it.

Before I leave, here are some links compiled over the past few weeks. A linkdump if you will.

First, children are all pussies. I recommend you punch the next toddler you see right in the face. Boom, bitch!

Moving on, we have this woman who lives in a tiny house. I want one of those. It'd be like living in my car, but better!

Lets break this up with a music video. Here we have Cold War Kids' performance on Jimmy Kimmel. Sure its no prog-metal noise, but hey I guess I'm getting soft in my old age. Go ahead and hang me out up to dry.

Next we have my personal hero, Didier Drogba, the soccer player who single-handedly almost ended a civil war. Is there anything he can't do? Men want to be him and women want to be with him.

You know who needs a hug? That gunman who was about to rob you and your family.

Haha, semen.

Oh yeah almost forgot, the Simpsons Movie comes out tommorrow. I'm sure I'll see it. And I'm sure it won't anywhere near as good as any of the episodes previously listed here. Although spiderpig still makes me laugh. The biting satire just hasn't been there for the past ten years or so. But if you doubt the Simpsons, here's some pretty good arguments that they are better than everything, ever. Seriously, try to imagine life with Homer et al. Try to try at least.

Well that's about it. I'll be in New York City by way of Atlantic City in the next few days. Perhaps I will riot after seeing Rage Against the Machine and Wu Tang. So long for now fatties!

Concert Review: Sounds of the Underground, Myth, Minneapolis/St.Paul

I was going to write this last night when I got back from the show, but I was not very sober and proceeded to pass out on my floor playing with my dog. So today I'm hungover, can't hear shit, and may or may not remember everything I wanted to mention. Oh well.

So this is a metal/hardcore "festival" of sorts and in my opinion better than ozzfest, which is more about popular hard rock bands that can draw a crowd. That and Ozzy Osbourne, who is past his prime. i just can't get over the fact that the prince of darkness runs around stage shooting the crowd with a super soaker...Thope and I (also charles) witnessed this first hand. Anyway...

I was quite excited to see this show because I missed last summer's due to the whole being in Europe thing. As always, there was an "interesting" mix of people. Old school metalheads with their mullets, misguided youth, freaks, dude bros, emo kids, tough guys, and normal people (which is the category I hope I fall into). When you mix people of this type, bad things can happen, but I didn't see anything major go down. However, that was partly because I stayed by the bar, which had a slightly elevated view of the stage right behind the sound technicians and floor area. Got into Myth around 1:25pm and shows probably got going around 2pm. Ended around 10:45pm or something like that. Long day of drinking.

These guys started everything off...with a drum solo! Not as sexy as guitar solos I guess, but a good drummer can do a lot for a band. I'm no expert, but I was impressed. The drummer is also the singer and he kept me laughing with his various statements/observations between songs. He ripped into Good Charlotte and Fallout Boy, while praising Pantera, Minor Threat, and a few others from their youth. I was with them 100%. He also informed the crowd about a their being out of drugs and their willingness to take (or buy if it was good stuff) weed, lsd, and I think coke. They want to keep it "metal" and therefore refused any ecstasy. Beggars can't be choosers, guys. They covered the King of the Hill theme song and Slayer's Raining Blood...both were great in their own way. Overall, their brand of metal isn't really what I'm into nowadays, but I still enjoyed them.

The next band to take the stage was this black metal band from New Orleans. I like some black metal, but overall find the genre humorous at times. They just try too hard to have a certain look and feel...I blame it on the Scandanavians, who totally love this stuff. Goatwhore may be the best US band in the genre, but that list isn't huge...admittedly, I don't know of many. The band got a good reception as more people were finally getting in (total b.s. that some people were waiting in line through the first few bands...i got there early, so had no problems). I however thought their set got kinda old...there were a few songs in there that I enjoyed, but was ready for the next band before they were finished. Here's a video from their newest album.

This band is one of two reasons I bought my ticket. One of my favorite bands. It's really hard to describe their sound, so I won't try. Listen to some of their tracks to get an idea. Most of the douchebags at the show were booing them and yelling shit, which seriously pissed me off. They had some amp(?) and guitar problems, so there was a little bit of a break...this really got the haters going. The singer just stood there acting like he was masterbating and telling the crowd to fuck off cause he could do that for 15 more minutes and still get all their money...I was cracking up. I'm pretty sure this band has been getting booed a bunch on this tour because of all the dumbasses who don't get their shit. I mean, I didn't really like Goatwhore but I didn't sit there booing and yelling at them to get off the stage. The best was some teenage fat fuck in sandals and nike socks yelling that it was past their bedtime. If I was the violent type, he'd be the type of person that I'd want to mess up. Robbie, the singer, didn't really interact with the crowd much except to tell them to shut up and asking under his breath "where the weed at?"...he appeared to be really f'd up. Danny, one of the guitarists, was wearing some ridiculous running shorts and dancing around barefoot...he's got some moves. Actually talked to him at the merch booth for a bit, he was a nice guy and seemed happy that I was there to see their band. I however was pretty drunk at this point and wasn't really able to carry on much of a conversation. Great set. Wish it was longer...seemed like they cut it short. Here's some shitty video of them live.

The Acacia Strain
I'd only heard one song from this band before the show. I was blown away by their energy. This was the point where things seemed to really get moving...people were really into them. The singer was very engaging and funny. He had the crowd going back in time giving the "thumbs-up" as opposed to the devil horns...which are kinda dumb in my opinion. I liked their music a lot, so I decided to pick up their two full lengths at the merch table. The singer was chilling out there at this point...I didn't talk to him personally, but witnessed him talking to a couple kids next to me. He seemed very sincere and interested in what they were saying, actually initiating the conversation. Didn't seem to have the ego that some do in this business. Cool guy who deserves my money. Here's the video for "angry mob justice" from their newest album.

The Devil Wears Prada
I had heard a lot about this band, but never really checked them out. I guess I just wrote them off as another Christian, metalcore band...which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I've just heard it all before. Well, they were better than I envisioned. I really liked their set, although the clean singing can get annoying (a little whiny). Not that I don't like clean singing...but it works better for some bands than others. This band reminds me of older Underoath (another Christian metalcore band who suck now but used to be amazing). Some people have problems with these Christian bands, but all that matters to me is the music. Most of them aren't very preachy, so that's good enough for me. Great set. And I bought their first full length...another band that deserves my cash. Here's a video for "Dogs can grow beards all over".

The Number Twelve Looks Like You
This is the other reason I bought my ticket. Another one of my favorite bands. Much like HHLL, their sound is hard to describe. So many influences...they're all over the place. You really need to listen to an entire album to appreciate their sound. The crowd seemed really indifferent about what was going on upstage while they played. I was expecting the type of reception that HHLL got. Lots of energy and the two lead singers played off each other really well. The dude next to me asked what band has a woman lead singer right before they started playing...i was like, um, that's a dude. He did have a womanly shirt on, I guess...and long hair. I bought a scary t-shirt of theirs and old people were staring at me when I went to Old Country Buffet this afternoon. Here's the video for "like a cat".

Amon Amarth
This is a metal band from Sweden. They're all about vikings. The crowd loved them, but they're not really my style. The singer and his accent were entertaining. I especially loved when he was like "come on, chicago was loud...but this is the home of the VIKINGS!". That got the crowd cheering louder...then I think they played their song "The Pursuit of Vikings". Eh.

Darkest Hour
I actually went out to the merch booths after Amon Amarth. Ended up missing most of this set. Saw 1.5 songs. They were fine, but my batteries were getting low. I like this band and have some albums, but don't listen to them as much anymore. Here's a video for "Convalescence".

Job For a Cowboy
There's a lot of hype for this band, but I can't figure out why. Maybe I haven't listened to enough, but they don't interest me much. I got bored during their set, partly because I had yet to receive my 2nd wind. Kinda zoned out. Whatevs.

This is a band that I have tried to like. Had an older album, and I just never really got into it. I've seen them interviewed and candidly on camera, and they just seem like good people. I like good people, so I won't write them off. When they came out, Beefcake (from GWAR) came out with them. Insane! Apparently the bass player had to leave the tour b/c of a death in the family, so they had various band members on tour helping out with the bass duties. Beefcake, Andy Williams (Every Time I Die), Paul Romanko (Shadows Fall), and some dude who was a roadie for Shadows Fall helped out. This band woke me out of my slumber. I really enjoyed their set and my opinion of their music has definitely changed for the better. Crowd loved them too. They've got some songs that are really great when you're angry. "Pure Hatred" and "Power Trip" come to mind. Here's a video for a new track "Resurrection".

Every Time I Die
Great band. They're not really "metal"...more of a post-hardcore rock band. Whatever that means...i hate labels like that. I saw them like four years ago with about 100 people. Loved them then, love them now. The singer is hilarious, and he seems quite intelligent. I think he used to teach high school english. His lyrics are actually really interesting, especially on the older albums. I've seen some interviews and they seems like a bunch of cool people. They called a guy from the crowd on stage to chug a beer during a song that contained an apparent "beer drinking riff"; they had a beer for him and everything. He put it down in like 5-10 seconds. Their guitarist Big Andy is frickin huge...they're from Buffalo and I think he should try out for tight end with the Bills. I actually prefer this bands older material to the newer, but they both have their merits. Here's "The New Black".

Shadows Fall
This band is blowing up, and rightly so. They're a great thrash metal band. I've kinda grown out of them, but they're still good at what they do. Brian Fair is a great singer and his dreadlocks are fucking ridiculous...they literally reach the floor. And he loves swinging them around. I've heard their guitarist referred to as Jonny rock n' roll and that's a cool nick name. His name is jonathan donais (and he's a super talented guitarist)...my band director in high school was mr. donais. I didn't like him very much; straight up douche. I hope they're not related. Great high energy set. Crowd loved it.

I used to listen to GWAR back in the days of cassette tapes. I don't really listen to them at all anymore, but I enjoy what they do. The live show is like no other. One kinda forgets they're actually playing songs during their show because of all the ridiculous props and shit going on up on stage. They've got the 5 band members dressed up in their ridiculous gear, "slaves" running around handling the props, and all kinds of fluids being shot onto the crowd. The lead singer's costume is the best, complete with giant cock and 2 sets of testicles. Oh, and the penis shoots yellow liquid. Awesome. The props included the Virginia Tech shooter (they chopped off his head and shot him), a paralyzed SOTU/GWAR fan (they dismembered and skinned him), some musician (according to wikipedia, it's supposed to be Sid Vicious representing drug addicted, decadent rock stars; they fed him crack, pulled off his forearms), Jewcifer (Satan, whom they battle until the final prop shows up...), and Gor Gor (a T-Rex who kills Jewcifer only to be slayed by Oderus Urungus). Throughout this entire show the slaves were also shooting red and green liquid from these cannon like things. Very entertaining. Here's an old video of theirs for "saddam a go go".

Here's another treat for you all, because this post doesn't have nearly enough video...

Ok, I'm done.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Celebrities: They're better than you!

I'm hoping somebody puts up some response to the best beer listoff sooner rather than later, but in the meantime productively laugh at some famous people.

First we have Beyonce falling down some stairs at some concert in Orlando. After which she requested that no one put it up on Youtube. Memo to Beyonce: Shut up. Although I'd wager some Sony BMG copyright claims could get it taken down.

And in in the likely scenario where that gets removed, here's Ben Affleck with his epic "Here comes the science" commercial.

Alright that was lame. Someone please post something to push this down.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Deathmatch listoff: Best Beers

This is a pretty obvious list to do (and easy to put together). I'm surprised nobody thought of it earlier. Alcoholic that I am, it's pretty certain that my picks will be the best.

Schaefer Beer
Now this is kind of obscure, but cases of it are available at the Beer Mill (my local beer store, which is like 3 blocks from my apartment). Plus, it's the one beer to have when your having more than one.
Best. Jingle. Ever. And I always have more than one. Just ask this 70s-tastic commercial featuring the one and only Moog synthesizer.

Or as it is affectionately known, Leinie's. A Wisconsin brewed beer, the less obvious choice than Miller. In fact, this beer is pretty much the only positive thing I remember about the 7 months I lived in Wisconsin. Of course, the excessive amount of Leinie's I drank while there may have had an effect on both the number of positive experiences and my memory of them. I'm not sure how many different types of Leinenkugels there are, but this one is probably my favorite. Yes, it's just because of the name.

Those of you who have never lived in the Delaware Valley probably have never heard of this, but you are missing out. So cheap and good, the pride of Pottsville, Pa. In fact you can walk into any bar in the Philadelphia area and simply order "a lager" and every bartender will know what you are talking about. For the uninitiated (I'm looking in Mr. "Can i have swiss cheese on a cheesesteak" TMoney's direction) it's pronounced yingling. Which makes for hilarious commercials involving asians.

Bass Ale
Yeah I couldn't really think of anything else. I was tempted to go with something completely off the wall, like scotch, but that would destroy the integrity of the deathmatch listoff, whatever that means. So I went with another ale (my favorite kind of beer). Also I always seem get Bass when its on tap at the bar, so there you go. Fucking Limeys.

Victory HopDevil

BOOM. Straight outta Downingtown. It's a victory for your taste!

Cut you up with a linoleum knife

There you go. Now you never have to see the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie, cause that's the best part. Your welcome.

Monday, July 23, 2007

For the good of the nation ...

I was watching the Youtube democratic debate for about 20 minutes this evening. Seriously, it was terrible. The people asking the questions are fucking morans. For example, one query is "What are the five things the candidates would do to repair the damage done to the country by the Bush administration?" That's a legitimate question that could shed some light on what the candidates think. TOO BAD IT WAS ASKED BY A STUFFED CAT. ROTFLOL.

It was the stupidest thing I have ever seen, and this is coming from someone who has defended the merit of Snakes on a Plane and XXX: State of the Union. I weep for our children's future. Anyone seen the movie Idiocracy? No? Well, it's going to become real. At one point in that movie, all the crops are dying because the idiots of the future are watering them with powerade. When the main guy suggests using water, he is rebuked because that doesn't "have what plants crave" or something along those lines. I was pretty drunk when I saw it. My point is people are getting dumber.

Anyway, here's another example, from someone called The Phenomenauts. They call themselves a space and science band (?) then recite some impressive statistics and even have their synchronized sign off. Surely they should be taken seriously.

Jesus Christ.

The only really memorable part of the debate (that I saw) was when Kucinich said he supports reparations for slavery. Well, that and Obama talking about trying to catch a cab in NYC.

And now appropos of nothing, here's Kucinich with his hot young redheaded wife. He's got my vote.

edit: Apparently the Goatse image was flashed during one of the questions last night, at which point Hillary and Obama noticably flinched. If you don't know what goatse is, well, you probably don't want to know. The fact that it was on a Presidential debate probably means the end times are here. Either that or the YouTube debates were a phenomenally stupid idea.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's stupid.


There are some things in this world that really piss me off and religious zealots are right at the top of the list. Too often people turn a blind eye to the real world and let "faith" take care of things. This drives me nuts. People need to take control of their lives. If there was a God, he would deserve a swift kick in the nuts for all that is wrong in this world (or a punch in the ovaries, in case he was actually a she. Sweet Blasphemy!). I especially love the song and dance about how all the bad in the world is due to Satan's influence. Spare me. That's about as plausible as the boogeyman.

The truth is that the concept of God was invented by people who had no idea what the hell was going on and needed some sort of explanation. Unfortunately they didn't have the benefit of science that we do now...and it's too bad because thousands of years of believing in something that doesn't exist has made people very stubborn.

Why the diatribe on religion? Well, I read this today. These sextuplets were big news a little over a month ago. What disappointed me is that during the pregnancy the parents were told that the chances of the six babies surviving would be very, very slim. They could have reduced the number of fetuses to allow the babies a normal chance of survival. Well, they refused because of their "faith" in God and that whatever happened would be his plan. Now I'm not about to try to force my opinions about abortion on people, but look where their decisions have led. Isn't refusing care for your unborn children, which leads to their death, the same thing as abortion? Apparently God's will was a deep sadness that will last their entire lifetime.

I'm sorry, but what kind of God does this to people? I hope their last child survives, because this is tragic. I would never wish it upon anyone. But seriously, when are people going to open their eyes? Evangelicals are taking over various facets of our country and it's not for the better. They claim to be "God's people" and to do good, but this is absolutely false. All they want to do is force their beliefs on others so that we can all live in a joyless, Christian society. Yippee! I once was a Christian and this is not what I learned from the bible. This type of hypocrisy is partly what drove me away from the church...that and I actually started thinking about things, something the majority of our nation could stand to do more of.

And don't get me started on the Pope's recent approval of a document reasserting the Catholic church's stance that theirs is the only true church and path to salvation, the God Hates Fags people, or the millionaire televangelists.

The God hates shrimp people are cool, though. God also hates zombies.

I apologize if I offended you. You're free to believe what you want, just stop trying to ruin my world.

Fuckin' bird

I was driving back from a stalker/reporter duty yesterday afternoon. Attempting to track down a story by driving by the house of this local kid who fell down a mineshaft in Mexico. Very sad. I knocked on a couple of his neighbors' doors and asked them questions. They didn't know anything and one told me to get "off his lawn." Later I found his MySpace page, which according to my editor is a reliable source.

Thats just indicative of the dangers of Mexican mineshafts. Be forewarned.

Anyway, I was cruising back to to the office when something flew in my driver side window, bounced off the rear windshield and hit me in the back of the head. I look down and there is a fucking bird. Dead. My first thought was "OMG I am surrounded by death." First this kid in Mexico, then a goddamn bird. I better watch my back.

Just like this pigeon, who made the mistake of thinking a nearby pelican was its avian friend. It's just a bird eat bird world I guess.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Phriday Philler

All you sports fans out there, I gotta recommend former Deadspin weekend editor The Mighty MJD's daily column over at the FanHouse, dubbed The Debriefing. The dude is consistently hilarious. Be it his rip on ESPN's Who's now competition called "Who's Erstwhile" or simply referring to an NFL wideout as "240 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal" the guy brings it.

Anybody else watch Flight of the Conchords? It's kind of weird and the humor is pretty dry, but boy those Kiwis are hilarious. Do yourself a favor and go watch some of their videos. GINGER BALLS!

On a more hilariously sobering note, we have this tale of neocons on a cruise. Oh yeah, the muslims are coming you dumb motherfuckers, wait I better shut up, cause if I speak my mind I should be executed. It disturbs me that my roommate is one of these people. I can't wait til he gets home and tells me the latest from Colin "Shrutebag" Cowherd about how black people hate dogs. Grah. Also, along the same lines, there's this video about Generation Chickenhawk. Damn that one chick it pretty hot, too bad she's a fascist.

And finally, I don't know if you have heard, but the last Harry Potter book comes out tonight. I haven't actually read any of the books, but if I did I would definitely put on of these hilarious fake covers on it to hide my shame. Because only real men read "Memoirs of a Shark Fucker"

Well thats it for me. I'm going to go drown my troubles in a bottle of Jim Beam and watch Children of Men on repeat. FUN

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Deathmatch counterpunch: Bands of my youth

I am trying to remember bands I listened to in the 80s and all I can come up with is Weird Al Yankovic. I mean dare to be stupid was pretty epic, but I'm going to have to leave him off this list. What can I say, I was too busy building dams in the stream behind my house in the 80s to develop an unhealthy obsession with Whitesnake.
Also, I'm pretty sure these selections will prove without a shadow of a doubt that dr.gpeice rocks harder than I do. OR DOES HE?

Presidents of the United States of America
I think the fact that I loved this band as a 14-year-old, before I knew the joys of herbal refreshment, shows I was ahead of my time. Apparently they came upon the name "The Presidents of the United States of America" while playing music high on marijuana. Of the names made up on the spot that night, "The Presidents" got the biggest rise out of the eleven stoners who happened to be listening. Hilarious, just like their music. Lump? Kitty? I also would like to move to the country and eat a lot of peaches.

Pearl Jam
I still only like their first two albums. Yellow Ledbetter is a pretty good song, but just give me "Ten" and "Vs" and I'll be happy. You can take Yield/No Code and shove them up your ass. Fuck you Eddie Vedder, your drunken on-stage slurring won't save you now. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, Vitology blows -- JOSH!

Stone Temple Pilots
"Core" was the first CD I ever bought. I carried it with me always until it was stolen by a crackhead in San Francisco (Shake harder boy!). On an unrelated note, I'm half the man I used to be.

Local H
Oh yeah, here's the good stuff you high-fiving motherfuckers. Frankly, the song Eddie Vedder off their sophomore effort "As Good as Dead" is better than anything the real Eddie Vedder has done in the past 10 years. Plus the CD looked like a giant quarter. I was always impressed that there were only two people in this band. I remember waiting for their next disc "Pack up the cats" but it never came out cause Universal sucks. And if I am ever back in Chicago for Halloween I am totally going to see their performance at the Double Door. Maybe they will cover Weird Al? It's no Britney Spears but still.
Well that was disturbing.

Social Distortion
Ok this was more in teh high school years, but whatever. I was really into the album that came out in '96 -- "White light, White heat, White trash" and in fact I still play it to this day (Crackhead missed that one). Anyway, "White(3x)" got some heavy rotation and I was like, hmmmm, I wonder if Mike Ness et al have any other CDs? And they did! But I still just mostly listened to that one album.

Damn I really did like grunge back in the day. And no this is not turning into a music blog. I'll be back Friday afternoon with some filler.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Suture up your future

Well here we have a little follow on the Queens of the Stone Age post I did a couple weeks back.

Their new album "Era Vulgaris" is pretty good stuff. At least the jewel case works well for doing lines off of. Inappropriate.

A few basic nuggets from the band via wikipedia:
Josh Homme describes the disc as "dark, hard, and electrical, sort of like a construction worker … it's like dirt, clearly seen." Era Vulgaris is latin for Common Era, but Homme says "it sounds like 'the Vulgar Era', which I like, because that sounds like something that I would like to be part of… I mean I think we're in it, and I'm stoked." A vulgar construction worker, got it. (I have no idea what that means)

The album is not as immediately accessible as Songs for the Deaf, but the riffs have a certain catchiness that become apparent through dedicated listening. Personally I enjoy the how the groovy feel of "Make it wit chu" segues into the Nirvana-like opening measures of "3's and 7's" via giant booming synthetic brass sounds.

I definitely agree with the Rolling Stone review, when it says in regards to a particular riff on the album -- "you realize it's here for one main reason, just like every other sonic flourish on Era Vulgaris: Josh Homme loves how it sounds."

Bottom line, after giving "Era Vulgaris" some heavy rotation, I gotta say the results are mixed. I don't think they are the same band without bassist Nick Olivieri. Not that that is a necessarily bad thing. On this album they brought in some heavy hitters, Trent Reznor, Julian Casablancas of the Strokes, some guy from ZZTop and former vocalist Mark Lanegan.

But on the album itself only Casablancas and Lanegan appear. After some internet detective work I have determined that Reznor was on the "title track" of the album, which was not included on the CD. Apparently it was leaked way back in April. I am so behind the times.

OK I just spent the past 45 minutes looking for that download and I finally got it. I guess I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. Here it is the easy way, someone put it on Youtube.

I gotta admit, as annoying as that was looking for the download, it's kind of badass to not put the title track on an album, and the song is so money it doesn't even know it. Oh Trent Reznor, you are so edgy.

Apparently Era Vulgaris (the track, not the album) was sent out to 50 people who entered a contest on the QOTSA fansite thefade.net. The package also included this note.

Hello friend -

Thank you for accepting this gift. Included you will find the will to dance & the song ERA VULGARIS. It was pulled from the new album (of the same name) so that it could be to you and become an example of how we think "from now on" should be. As in - We do for you, you do for us.

So to start this relationship off, we have done for you. Now we ask this in return. Share this with friends you think we (you & us) would enjoy. Upload it and spray it like time released graffitti on the websites of places it does not belong.

– 'Dr Insider & QOTSA'

Kind of a "fuck you" to their record label(Universal) when the band pulls the title track (under the influence of Mr NIN I'm sure) off their album and send it out to the most hardcore of fans. It's just unfortunate that the song isn't more widely available. I blame the RIAA.

And in answer to their request, you can download the Era Vulgaris single here.

Deathmatch Listoff: Favorite bands/musicians from my youth

Reading up on these bands and watching music videos on youtube has helped me to realize how hilarious the 80's were. Hair metal needs to make a comeback...actually, no, it should stay dead.

Alice in Chains
My favorite band of all time. They were so much more than the "grunge" label they were given. I still don't know what I like more; their earlier, darker material or their softer, acoustic side. They made music to suit any mood. I still remember my mom flipping out about the lyrics to the song "junkhead". What's my drug of choice/Well what have you got... R.I.P. Layne Staley.

I started listening around the time of Chaos A.D., which I consider one of the best metal albums of the 90's, but I also got into their older death metal stuff too. I lost interest when Max Cavalera left the band to form Soulfly. Just like Audioslave was nothing compared to Rage and Soundgarden, Soulfly and new Sepultura pale in comparison to old Sepultura.

I was quite impressed that their lead singer Evan Seinfeld is married to Tera Patrick. He played the character Jaz Hoyt in Oz and apparently had a nude scene that Tera saw...she didn't know who he was but found out and they started dating. Now he stars in "movies" with her. He goes by Spyder Jonez in these Oscar-worthy performances. Not really the type of girl to take home to mom, but I'm still jealous. What does this have to do with the band? Absolutely nothing.

Skid Row
Probably my favorite band for a few years in elementary school. Their first two albums were really good, I even remember calling a radio station to dedicate "I Remember You" to a girl in 3rd or 4th grade. I then had to call her to tell her to listen to the station. How romantic. Maybe I should try that now...dedicating songs to random girls seeing who goes for it; either that or getting a nude scene on tv so some pornstar decides she can't live without me and my hog (tera patrick style).

I loved Pantera in junior high. Phil Anselmo's side project Down is currently a band I still enjoy a lot and I think they're coming out with a new album soon. Thope and I went to Ozzfest back in our undergraduate years when Down headlined the 2nd stage and I gotta say that Mr. Anselmo was all kinds of f'd up. In my opinion, Pantera truly emerged with the release of Cowboys From Hell and pretty much died after Far Beyond Driven. R.I.P Dimebag.

Honorable Mention: Gwar, Suicidal Tendencies, Aphex Twin, NWA, Faith No More, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rage Against the Machine, Tool

Who doesn't like a good graph or chart?

Sticking with the theme of gaming systems, here's a little viddy for a new Wii accessory. Looks, uhh, interesting. 
I'll stick with my crazy spin action on Wii Bowling. 

Speaking of bowling, this guy should be on the And-1 Bowling Edition.

To conclude with some complete randomness, for those who haven't seen Transformers, you're missing some sweet Osprey action. Although I have no idea why they were cruising in helicopter mode.

F'n football players

So I got NCAA Football 08 for my PS3 today. Somehow I was able to pull myself away from it to make a post. The best part so far? Starting my dynasty with the Minnesota Golden Gophers, in particular rapey mcrape. I was going to write a diatribe on college/professional athletes and their propensity to get their sexual assault on, but I figured that was too much.

I considered deleting the involved players from my team, but unfortunately my need to obtain a ridiculous recruiting class requires me to keep the players involved on my team (they are high ranking defenders, after all). I have returned a couple interceptions for touchdowns with "the ambassador" and my house has been echoing with cheers of "the rapist does it again". I think something is wrong with me. At least he'll be in jail soon and hopefully plenty of others will be returning the favor.

from that to this...

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

He blew his mind out in a car

In complete desperation of cleansing myself of the conversation I had with my roommate last night, we have this post. To sum up the situation, roomie is a hardcore christian conservative. He belongs to a country club. His younger brother works as an intern at the White House. Basically a good German and all around nice guy.

Last night he was regaling me with tales of Rush Limbaugh's hilarious mocking of those losers who believe in global warming. Sometime after that I found myself saying something like "Well you know, Al Gore is kind of out there, but that doesn't mean global warming doesn't exist." Jesus tap-dancing Christ thats lame. At least later I shocked him with the news that I would prefer Gore as president.

Anyway, I still feel like a complete shit for how I handled the whole situation -- why should I censor myself to spare his feelings? It's not helping anyone. So as some sort of godless communist recompense I'm running down a list of subversive bands that are popular despite their damning of the man.

The Offspring
OK we're starting off kind of weak. I don't think Why don't you get a job is going to inspire anyone to revolution. But they enjoy a special place in my heart just because of their performance at Woodstock 99. They brought out effigies of the backstreet boys and beat the hell out of them. Later the crowd went complete apeshit and the sky was filled with plastic bottles. The Kids Aren't All Right was an amazing ... HOLY CRAP I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS IN THAT CROWD

Marilyn Manson
"Capitalism has made it this way, Old-fashioned fascism will take it away"
-The Beautiful People

Thats more like it. There's not much more to say. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea. But you gotta respect a man who combined the names of the most famous sex object with the most famous murderer. I'm going to resist posting any images or videos, cause they are weally scawy. edit: Nevermind, here's Charlie

The Arcade Fire
"Ain't much chance for survival if the neon bible is right."
Gotta represent for the indies. One look at their song titles tells you all you need to know [Antichrist Television Blues] Not to mention that that song's first two verses are a allegory for 9/11 before going into how his little girl is getting warped by society. Neon Bible is the best album I've purchased in the past year and half. Although Cold War Kids are creeping up on the outside.

Here's a video of Arcade Fire playing the album's title track in an elevator. Note the use of ripping.

"Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three ring circus sideshow of freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA. The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Fret for your figure and Fret for your latte and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your lawsuit and Fret for your prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract and Fret for your car." -Ænema
Well that's certainly uplifting. Here it is in video form. Nope, not weird at all. Maynard hates drugs.

Nine Inch Nails The most subversive of all. Government, god, societal mores, american culture, nothing escapes the ire of Trent Reznor. I particularly enjoy the most recent effort, Year Zero, which has been mentioned before in this space.

To recap: It's a concept album set in an fascist future. It's got everything covered, power-hungry godheads, helpless plebes, good soldiers, the whole sordid scene from start to finish. This is not to ignore his earlier work, which was plenty subversive in itself. NIN had a song called "Heresy" for christsake. But the maturity and focus of incendiary lyrics on Year Zero really is something to behold.

I think this video for the first single "Survivalism" gets my point across. I was hoping for a video for Capital G, but alas only fanvids are available.

Ahh I feel much better. Sorry I didn't mention rage.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Mature, intelligent political discourse

You may have heard about the so-called "Obama girl" whose video
I got a Crush ... On Obama skyrocketed to the top of the viral video heap, with more than two million views and counting. Be forewarned though, if you click that link you will lose braincells. Probably about a whippets' worth.

Anyway, she's back with a new video. This time Obama Girl faces off against Guiliani Girl, who says she wants Rudy to be "Guili-on-me" See for yourself.

Far be it from me to make sweeping generalizations about what the introduction of these videos could bring to American politics. uhhh ... Zeitgeist is fucked? What can I say, it's beyond me.

I mean, I like Obama and all -- I sure hope he beats out Hillary, but go ahead and call me a Paultard, cause I'm seriously considering changing my party affiliation from independent to republican just so I can vote for Ron Paul in the primary.

Ron Paul: Significantly less crazy than Mike Gravel.

Business in the front, party in the back

Well I'm not sure what's going on here, but count me out.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

An epic achievement

No, not King James' performance of "My Lebrogative" on the ESPYs. But this:

Thats right. It's Von Hayes, who to better represent the Phillies 10,000th loss. Well known as part of the 5 for 1 541 deal in the '80s in which the Phils traded away such luminaries as Manny Trillo, George Vukovich, Jay Baller, Jerry Willard, and Julio Franco (still alive!).

That little factoid is one of many hilariously stupid chapters that make up the Philadelphia Phillies long and sordid history.

Here is one such story. It's no blowing a 6 game lead with 10 to play in 1964, or shitty owner William F. Baker building a giant fence over the right-field wall so hall-of-fame left-handed hitter Chuck Klein wouldn't challenge any of Babe Ruth's home run records, because then Klein would deserve more money that Baker didn't want to pay, or even some idiotic Ed Wade move (Pat Burrell).

No this is back in the halcyon days of 1993, when the Phillies rode steriod-fueled Lenny Dykstra, psychotic misogynist Darren Daulton, two-nutted John Kruk, "Wild Thing" Mitch Williams and a bunch of other yahoos to the brink of a World Series championship. There's no need to rehash what happened.

Sidenote: My Joe Carter hate manifested itself while I was in college and said slugger became the terribly bad color man for the Cubs. I remember one particular instance, when they were playing the Phillies and Carter described a middling Phillies starter thusly:

"Robert Person is a man who loves life itself."

Anyway, this tale is from Game 4 of said Phillies-Blue Jays series. The Phillies had a 14-9 lead in the eighth inning of a rainy, ridiculous game.

Actually lets back up: I remember sitting the the 700 level of Veterans Stadium, putting on a poncho, when Dykstra hit his second home run of the night in the fifth inning. It was the moment that got me through the strike in 1994, besides maybe momma thope cheering the Phils to a World Series championship in 1980 with yours truly in utero.

Needless to say the Phillies lost game 4. By now most of the memories have faded into an idle distrust of Tony Fernandez, Todd Stottlemyre and Paul Molitor. But that moment, when the rain was coming down and the crowd was rising up ... well, it defies description.

So here's video of Veteran's stadium imploding.
It's about the same feeling.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Phriday Philler: Belated edition

Ahh well, its the end of the week, which means we gotta get some filler up here on the fainting goats. Here are some hastily written thought-nuggets, complete with linky goodness.

The old Nintendo8 got killed for some "administrative" reasons, whatever that means. Fortunately you can get all that NES 8-bit gaming you need at virtualnes. Personally I have been playing the original final fantasy, which due to a lack of a save function means my computer has been on for 8 days straight. Also, I'll probably update the links over there on the right someday. If I feel like it. While drunk.

Republicans racist? Nah ... I'm sure they all had the flu. When will these damn NAACP-types realize no one cares about black people, except for maybe Will Smith.

Hmmm, what else? Well this recently released trailer for Halo 3 gave me a chubby. Considering Halo is like my crack, I was pretty concerned after dr.gpiece said XBox 360s break a lot. Red ring of death you say? I'm pretty sure I'm still going to buy one and play it until it breaks, then send it back and start again. Thanks for the warranty extension Mr. Gates.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't make some comment about the Transformers movie, or as it should be called: The greatest film in the history of celluloid. That is what I want in a summer blockbuster. I take back everything bad I ever said about you Michael Bay. I was impressed with how much it stayed faithful to the original while updating it for today. Starscream is such an ass. Always failing Megatron. ARE YOU EBAY USER LADIESMAN217!?!

And yes, the JJ Abrams godzilla-like movie looks amazing.
See for yourself.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

You go to hell, Phil Collins

Did anyone watch Live Earth? I watched it for about five minutes, saw Davey Havok and AFI totally butcher Ziggy Stardust then turned it off. Don't get me wrong, I like AFI, "Sing the Sorrow" is a great solid album. But watching that freak in action, mutilating classic Bowie, really fucking sucked. While watching it I kept picturing Vito's son from the Sopranos, the one who took a shit in the shower at school and then stepped in it. Go home and cry kill yourself, emo-kid.

Simply put, I got a feeling of BS from Live Earth. Like the one thing that called it Private Jets for Global Warming. But this article crystallized it for me. Basically the authors point is that Live Earth was all about consumerism, corporate sponsors and what have you.

Sponsors for the event included Chevrolet, Philips, NBC (parent company General Electric) and Microsoft. If there is anything Live Earth does represent about our generation, it's the commercialized raping and pillaging of our youth we've endured since we were toddlers: being force-fed Pokémon, Barbie and Happy Meals our whole life, taught that we "gotta catch 'em all!"

Aside from a few blatantly obvious energy-saving tips, how did the organizers of Live Earth propose we combat climate change? Buying a fuel-efficient Chevy car, replacing our light bulbs with Philips' compact fluorescents and listening to music on a Microsoft Zune instead of energy-wasting speakers.
He goes on to point out that the way to save the planet is not to buy more shit, but to CONSERVE. Ride a fucking bike people!

Anyway, as someone who has attended a few concert events in my life, I do think the benefit concert is dead. I was at Live 8 last summer in Philly and just kept thinking to myself -- how exactly is a free concert helping starving kids in Africa? What does raising awareness actually do? Did the any of the money from the T-shirt my friend bought with an starving african child staring at the G-8 leaders eating cake on the front go to providing rice for Ethiopia? The answers were it's not, nothing and five cents.

So after Will Smith welcomed us to Miami in Philadelphia, I left the crowds on Ben Franklin Parkway and got drunk with my sister and friends up on Spring Garden street. Sorry, one less audience member for such epic acts as Maroon 5 and Linkin Park/Jay-Z (Mash-Up!).
I'm sure the Africans suffered.

My point is that the benefit concert is D-U-N. Our generation sees right through the bullshit. Unless they are collecting food and well-building supplies that are being loaded on planes direct to Africa, benefit concerts ain't gonna do shit. That's baby-boomer, me generation stuff. Ohhh look at us, we're rocking for skinnies! I care about the world! I am raising awareness! I cannot be troubled to carpool to work!

Fuck, now I'm all riled up. I might go start revolutionizing or some shit. Better cool down with a video.
Haha. Gay.

Because nothing is more deadly serious than video games

After the blatant attack on my video game systems of choice by the Sony fanboy below, I felt the need to offer a differing opinion.

I don't see this happening with a PS3 anytime soon.

Cue the "sandy vagina" flame from dr.gpeice in 3...2...1...

E3 on G4

ok, so i've been watching the live coverage of E3 on G4 b/c i have nothing better to do...literally. now being only mildly interested in video games (love buying games, but then 1-2 weeks later i'm bored), this isn't something that really causes me to blow my load (i actually heard some douchebag say that on live tv about some game...sigh). what i do have though is undying devotion to sony and all those playstations...we actually have 3 ps2's and 1 ps3 in my house. so i'm going to complain about some things i've seen, mainly xbox and nintendo related.

first of all, if you don't speak english don't get on stage and go on in japanese so we have to wait for the translator to repeat everthing in english. just find someone who can speak english to give your speech...you're not that engaging and you're probably reading your speech from a teleprompter anyway.

secondly, nintendo wii sucks. i'm sorry, but the novelty of the wireless stick thingies wore off a long time ago. and coming out with new controllers for different games doesn't interest me. if i wanted to play tennis, i'd go outside and play tennis. i wouldn't stand in front of the tv swinging some little stick around like a douche. this can go for pretty much all the nintendo sports titles. granted there are some fun games in the nintendo universe, namely mario cart, metroid, smash bros., zelda, and a few more i might have forgot (doubtful) but i refuse to go with a system that revolves around a gimmick.

metal gear solid 4 looks sweet.

i will admit that xbox is intriguing, but lets face facts; americans don't know vg's like the japanese. and microsoft is evil. when are they going to try to take over the world? bill gates is going to go crazy and hack into our national defense. he'll probably bomb japan trying to wipe all his competitors off the board for good. also, i'll never forgive xbox for making those god-awful ginormous controllers on xbox 1. and halo can lick my balls. sure it's a fun game, but it's not thaaaaat amazing. plus the 360 is a piece of crap...there was some poll taken saying that 50% of owners had to have their 360 repaired, some more than once. that's to be expected when a system first comes out...but this is over a year later.

g4 has some beautiful ladies talking about video games and that's totally hot. much better than listening to them go on about shoes, diamonds or yeast infections.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Not safe for children

There is some online program you can use to rate your blog, and apparently the fainting goats is rated NC-17 due to its mature content. Just so you know -- don't let small children or puppies see it, cause that would result ... OH GOD WHY RUSSELL MARTIN LOOKS NOTHING LIKE TURTLE FROM ENTOURAGE I WILL KILL YOU JOE BUCK ... then they would grow up cynical and enjoy mocking everything in the world, ever. Either that or become compulsive gamblers. Cause dogs like to play poker.

This public service announcement brought to you by a crazy Japanese commercial. I think it's either for poison or canned milk.

Monday, July 09, 2007


kind of a crappy homerun derby, especially considering the showing by both morneau and howard (i got a little love for philly)...but i'm happy with vlad taking the trophy. in honor of his triumphant (oh wait, rios hit 2 in the final round...never mind) victory, here is his theme song. at least it should be.

vlad the impaler, indeed.

giant robotic hard-on...

let's call transformers (the movie) what is really is. since i'm done with school for the summer, i figure i should start seeing some cheap matinee's. today was transformers...and i was pleasantly surprised. i had heard good things all around, but i never doubt michael bay's ability to put together total crapfests with big poop-splosions.

the very beginning had me worried when he sped through a little back story in blink and you missed it fashion followed by action sequence in the desert with, you guessed it, big explosions. it didn't help that pretty much the entire "special forces" squad couldn't act their way out of a paper bag...tyrese? negro please. and random white dude with cliche baby he's never seen at home...spare me...some of the one liners were so bad i already blocked them out of my memory, and i was sober! whatever happened to the good old days where arnold's one liners alone were worth the price of admission?

i must admit though...explosions are one thing. explosions brought upon by giant alien robots are something completely different. as long as they don't involve tom cruise in any way...or i suppose will smith either...speaking of will smith, apparently he is legend. and i'm not talking about the christian hardcore/rock/punk band, no i'm talking about i am legend, where mr. smith is apparently the last man on earth and he has to battle a bunch of vampires or something. now, i love vampire movies, and i always have. there was a period in my life where i seriously wanted to be one...i've even been to transylvania! but will smith battling vampires? come on. i'd rather see dj jazzy jeff in that role. cuba gooding jr. must have been busy making snow dogs 2 or something.

anyway...what did i like about transformers? let's list them out so i don't go on any more tangents...
1) Shia LeBeouf is hilarious...if he wasn't already a movie star, i'd say he should try to save SNL with andy samberg...oh but wait, they have goodburger dude...SNL is set for life. basically i have been holding out hope for this movie simply because shia was in it...and he didn't disappoint.
2) Megan Fox is hot.
3) Anthony Anderson is also hilarious. plus he was totally bad ass in the last few seasons of the shield.
4) John Turturro. Great actor. and he gets pissed on by an autobot (i forget which one...michael bay, i take back everything bad i've ever said about you...that my friend is comic [liquid] gold). i can't think of a movie where he didn't satisfy. although he has lost points for the bronx is burning on espn...i could care less about the f'n yankees. stupid espn, you suck big time...with the exception of baseball tonight.

so yeah, go see transformers. it's the type of movie you need to see on the big screen. typical michael bay, but with actors who can actually entertain (unlike the will smith and martin lawrence tag team).

previews (that i can remember)
1) Balls of Fury - ping pong, christopher walken, patton oswalt, some fat dude who's probably funny...need i say more?
2) rush hour 3 - thope said it best when talking about ice cube movies, specifically friday...chris tucker's schtick is very old. especially when paired with jackie chan. i'd rather just watch him get stoned and mess with big worm.
3) i am legend - i already gave this my two cents. will smith is weak sauce.
4) untitled j.j. abrams project - some sort of monster flick ala godzilla...but hopefully better. also see this and this. i have my fingers crossed for p.diddy covering led zeppelin again. movie has potential.

and this post wouldn't be complete without some random video...make sure you watch until the end.

More entertaining than the home run derby

Here you go, just watch this 40 times so you don't have to listen to Berman, Joe Morgan and Dusty Baker's suit. Although Kenny Mayne is in a kayak.
"Krunk juice walk it out."

Hip hop is dead.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

More cinematic junk mail

This time it's from the streets.

I was going to do this whole elaborate post about whether rapper/actors are worthwhile, but that proved too difficult. Have you ever thought about how many hip-hop impresarios have moved in front of the camera? By my measure, it's a cubic fuck-ton.
One word -- Shaq.

On the other hand, doing my favorite Samuel L. Jackson flicks is too obvious. We all know Pulp Fiction is greatest cinematic achievement of the past 20 years; and I have already dedicated way too many posts (or not nearly enough?) to Snakes on a Plane and/or Deep Blue Sea.

So after perusing IMDB I am assured that this is real. That's right, its my favorite Ice Cube movies, with all apologies to I Got the Hook Up. I fear Cube may be typecast as some sort of angry black man.

XXX: State of the Union You were expecting Anaconda?
I already deconstructed this more than is necessary here. This fan vid would be better than the actual movie if that were humanly possible. Warning: Contains Breaking Benjamin.

Higher Learning
This is the one where Cube actually doesn't play a gangster ... well he kind of does, but this time he is educated and militant. He knows how to keep you guessing. But really what kept my attention (besides the institutional racism) was the possibility of Jennifer Connelly and Kristy Swanson hooking up. Probably NSFW. There's sideboob.

Friday Yeeuh. I think my favorite part of this movie is when Cube has to put water on his cereal. But of course there is also Chris Tucker doing his schtick before it got old, Cube's dad, Deebo, Bernie Mac as the pastor neighbor and all the rest of the gang. A true cinematic masterpiece.

Three Kings He's kind of a background character to Marky Mark and George Clooney, plus Spike Jonze steals the show as the idiot redneck. But Cube provides some quality depth in one of the more intelligent looks at the the original War in Iraq. You know, the one where we won but didn't get rid of Saddam. Bush 1 bitches!
I love the United States of Freedom!

Boyz N the Hood I assume Cube basically plays himself in this, as its one of his first roles and he comes across so believable. And he's all like -- Bitch there ain't no god, then shoots people with his AK. But later he dies and I was sad. Why oh why couldn't it have been Cuba? Fucking Snow Dogs.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Keeping it real, one fainting goat at a time

Yay non sequiturs!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Phriday Philler

I don't have too much this week. Partying on the fourth of july took a lot out of me, plus I am going to a wedding this afternoon. So here are some quick hit links.

Here's an article about "deep-thinkers" struggles in the business world today. I hate networking.

Everybody needs some quality advice on what not to do during a zombie attack.

This is kind of a cool little map about who has conquered the middle east in the past 5000 years. And by cool I mean mildly informative.

You may remember the middle sister from Full House, Stephanie Tanner. Well she's recovered from her meth addiction and "upgraded" her assets.

And finally what would a post be if I didn't leave you with a video. Here we have David Bowie's epic performance on Extras. Probably the best moment on the show outside of when Harry Potter carried around a condom with no wrapper in his pocket and propositioned Gervais' friend.

Are you having a laugh?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Cinematic equivalent of junk mail

When I think of the United States and everything it stands for, I think of one person. No, not George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, FIGJAM, or Scooter Libby. I think of an Irish-Italian kid from Brooklyn who stole our hearts in countless classics and still had time to volunteer firefight. In celebration of the upcoming 4th of July holiday and to honor an actor comparable only to Brando, Bogart, and (Kirk) Douglas, I put together a list of my five favorite Steve Buscemi movies.

5. The Island - This is a pretty shitty movie and I hope Michael Bay doesn't rape Transformers like he did this gem. Regardless, Busc's part is the slimeball type he plays oh-so-well, and he gets killed which is standard issue. Extra bonus: Scarlett.

4. The Big Lebowski - No need for an introduction here. Enjoy the fucking short version.

3. Airheads - Mix the likes of Encino Man, Happy Gilmore, Kramer and Joey Zasa on the silver-screen with Mr. Buscemi about a band so hardcore they take over a radio station and you have an instant classic. Here's a clip from the end where Steve gets the hairy-eyeball from a couple of his prison mates.

2. Fargo - You don't say, eh? This had to make the list since old Carl Showalter went head-first through the ol' wood chipper. And he's not afraid to put hookers before pancakes.

1. Reservoir Dogs - Stuck in the middle with you. Typical fast-talking Buscemi as he plays Mr. Pink in the Tarantino classic. For a guy who usually gets knocked-off in his roles, Mr. Pink survived the closing triangular shoot-out and headed for the jewels. And the bastard doesn't tip. Kudos.

Honorable mention: Lonesome Dove. Sure, it's actually a made-for-TV mini-series, but it's a classic.

Monday, July 02, 2007

The fun machine took a shit and died

For my money, Queens of the Stone Age is one of the most underrated bands around. Critically acclaimed sometimes, their brand of stoner rock could be described by me as the red-headed stepchild of The Stooges and Led Zeppelin, with Frank Zappa as their weekend daddy.

Frontman Josh Homme says they wanted to create "a heavy sound based on a solid jam, and just pound it into your head"

Well said from the man who penned these lyrics:

Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, Marijuana, Ecstasy and Alcohol.

Those are the only words in the entire song.
Combine that with their kind-of trademark driving bassline and you truly do create the "Feel Good Hit of the Summer" (off their second album, Rated R)

Many would refer to this type of music as "stoner rock" but Homme rejects the label due to his hatred of Monster Magnets' epic jam "Space Lord"
Just kidding, here's the real reason:

The term sucks. The only element of the audience I want to get rid of is the shirtless, sweaty, maxi-mullet jock dudes. We want sex to bleed into the music. At our shows, we want to see half boys and half girls in a utopian world, dancing and drinking.
Well said brother.

By far Queens of the Stone Age best album is "Songs for the Deaf" released in 2003. It was the only album with Dave Grohl on drums. And is widely-regarded as one of the best hard rock albums since the turn of the century. It's was described as "genre-demolishing" and QOTSA were hailed as our new metal gods. The opening track "You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire" kicks it off strong and fast, and it keeps going all the way until the final hidden ballad, "The Mosquito song" (warning: crazy amateur video)

You may remember the popular "No one knows" but for my money (And I feel like a Millionaire) Go with the Flow was its best single.

But after SOTD Grohl left the band to film more Mentos-themed videos for the Foo Fighters and bassist Nick Olivieri was kicked out for excessive partying or beating on his girl (internet searches inconclusive).

QOTSA then put out the somewhat lackluster and definitely depressing "Lullabies to Paralyze" in 2005.

But now they just released their fifth album with a fifth different line-up. Reviews I've read have been positive. So I picked it up today. How can you resist an album with cover art like this: