Showing posts with label catharsis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label catharsis. Show all posts

Monday, April 12, 2010

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

GOD DAMMIT. IF YOU PRINT OUT ONE MORE FUCKING E-MAIL AND HAND IT TO ME I AM GOING TO CRUMPLE IT UP AND CRAM IT RIGHT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT. FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE MAN. THERE IS A THING, IT IS CALLED THE FORWARD BUTTON. IT IS COMMON ON MANY IF NOT ALL E-MAIL PROGRAMS! AND ANOTHER THING OF WHICH YOU ALSO LIKELY ARE NOT AWARE: I WAS SENT THE ORIGINAL E-MAIL. ALTHOUGH I SUPPOSE IF YOU STILL PRINT OUT E-MAILS AND DISTRIBUTE THEM BY HAND YOU CAN'T REALLY BE BLAMED FOR NOT CHECKING WHO WAS CARBON COPIED OR WHO IS LISTED IN THE RECIPIENTS FIELD, YOU DUMB FUCKING LUDDITE BASTARD. OH, WHAT'S THIS? ANOTHER EDITOR JUST FORWARDED ME THE EXACT SAME E-MAIL. IT IS OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE THAT I DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION POST FUCKING HASTE, APPARENTLY. THIS LITTLE EPISODE COULD VERY WELL BE USED AS AN EXAMPLE OF THE TYPES OF HURDLES A NEWSPAPER COMPANY MUST FACE AS IT ATTEMPTS A TRANSITION TO A FUTURE IN MULTI-MEDIA. DEAR GOD FUCK YOU ALL I HATE MONDAY.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I am the walrus

Urge to kill rising.

The Video Mac at work decided to crap out yesterday. Well, I should say one of its two hard drives went all clicky and unreadable. The one with the OS on it. Fortunately, all our raw video footage saves on the other drive.

So I was going to install OSX and FinalCut Pro on the alternate drive today so as to edit assorted videos. Some 80 minutes or so needed to be pared down to 30 by the weekend. Sure, it would have been a pain in the ass, but what else would I be doing, writing this blog?

Unfortunately my esteemed boss and editor had other ideas. He decided to take the contraption to the Apple store to get it fixed last night after I left. When I left he said he would give me a call to let me know what was going on, as the top geek at the office was still working on it at the time. I believe my last words to him were "keep me informed." He didn't call.

In case you didn't know (my boss didn't), you need an appointment to bring your Apple in for service. So now that shit is fucking sitting there for 48 hours, and then they will be looking at it. I wish my bosses name was Larry.



That clip is embedded from the new Fox-NBC video sharing joint, Hulu. Pretty good stuff on there, despite the horrible selection of Simpsons clips. I just spent the past 30 minutes looking for the best Office clip to illustrate the similarities between my boss and Michael Scott. It was pretty cathartic.

But none of them truly captured what I was looking for. So here's another from The Big Lebowski. Must refrain from quoting The Jesus at work.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

He blew his mind out in a car

In complete desperation of cleansing myself of the conversation I had with my roommate last night, we have this post. To sum up the situation, roomie is a hardcore christian conservative. He belongs to a country club. His younger brother works as an intern at the White House. Basically a good German and all around nice guy.

Last night he was regaling me with tales of Rush Limbaugh's hilarious mocking of those losers who believe in global warming. Sometime after that I found myself saying something like "Well you know, Al Gore is kind of out there, but that doesn't mean global warming doesn't exist." Jesus tap-dancing Christ thats lame. At least later I shocked him with the news that I would prefer Gore as president.

Anyway, I still feel like a complete shit for how I handled the whole situation -- why should I censor myself to spare his feelings? It's not helping anyone. So as some sort of godless communist recompense I'm running down a list of subversive bands that are popular despite their damning of the man.

The Offspring
OK we're starting off kind of weak. I don't think Why don't you get a job is going to inspire anyone to revolution. But they enjoy a special place in my heart just because of their performance at Woodstock 99. They brought out effigies of the backstreet boys and beat the hell out of them. Later the crowd went complete apeshit and the sky was filled with plastic bottles. The Kids Aren't All Right was an amazing ... HOLY CRAP I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS IN THAT CROWD


Marilyn Manson
"Capitalism has made it this way, Old-fashioned fascism will take it away"
-The Beautiful People

Thats more like it. There's not much more to say. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea. But you gotta respect a man who combined the names of the most famous sex object with the most famous murderer. I'm going to resist posting any images or videos, cause they are weally scawy. edit: Nevermind, here's Charlie

The Arcade Fire
"Ain't much chance for survival if the neon bible is right."
Gotta represent for the indies. One look at their song titles tells you all you need to know [Antichrist Television Blues] Not to mention that that song's first two verses are a allegory for 9/11 before going into how his little girl is getting warped by society. Neon Bible is the best album I've purchased in the past year and half. Although Cold War Kids are creeping up on the outside.

Here's a video of Arcade Fire playing the album's title track in an elevator. Note the use of ripping.


Tool
"Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three ring circus sideshow of freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA. The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Fret for your figure and Fret for your latte and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your lawsuit and Fret for your prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract and Fret for your car." -Ænema
Well that's certainly uplifting. Here it is in video form. Nope, not weird at all. Maynard hates drugs.

Nine Inch Nails The most subversive of all. Government, god, societal mores, american culture, nothing escapes the ire of Trent Reznor. I particularly enjoy the most recent effort, Year Zero, which has been mentioned before in this space.

To recap: It's a concept album set in an fascist future. It's got everything covered, power-hungry godheads, helpless plebes, good soldiers, the whole sordid scene from start to finish. This is not to ignore his earlier work, which was plenty subversive in itself. NIN had a song called "Heresy" for christsake. But the maturity and focus of incendiary lyrics on Year Zero really is something to behold.

I think this video for the first single "Survivalism" gets my point across. I was hoping for a video for Capital G, but alas only fanvids are available.


Ahh I feel much better. Sorry I didn't mention rage.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Fear and Self-Loathing in Barnes and Noble

As a member of the Entitlement Generation , I sometimes need to blame someone else for my problems, even if they are entirely (or even partially) of my own making. So I'm gonna go ahead and blame Don Imus. Because who better to pick on than the old and bigoted?


Actually lets start somewhere else.
Today I was talking to some kids in the bookstore for a story I'm doing about "teen readers." Pulitzer here I come!
SO I'm chatting with them, talking about their favorite books, and all of a sudden a guy who I presume to be their father comes up and asks what the hell am I doing?

I explain the nature of my newspaper assignment, and he asks to see ID. Now I don't want to trash my employer too much here, but suffice it to say, I don't have any kind of press credentials -- although they are coming?

Anyway, I show him my "reporters notebook," which actually says that on the front cover. This predictably does nothing, so I try to assuage the situation by offering my Wisconsin-issued drivers license (don't ask) and then offering to have him call my editor. He promptly whips out the cell phone and calls the number I give him. Thankfully I was able to recite it from memory.

After literally a one minute conversation, he hangs up the phone and tries to skulk off.

"Are we good?" I ask.
"yeah"

And while I should probably blame my generally sketchy demeanor (esp the beard) for this incident, I blame Don Imus. Now you may ask, "Why do you fault a crotchety radio personality for your being mistaken for a pedophile?" Let me explain.

I don't necessarily blame "Don Imus" the actual adult diaper-wearing radio host for my unusual encounter. I blame what he, and his whole fucking "nappy-headed hos controversy" represents.

The 24-hour news cycle is one of the worst things in the history of media. Sure there's been a yellow streak going all through journalism since its inception. Need I remind you of George William Randolph Hearst and the Spanish-American War?

It started getting hardcore during the Clinton years, when sycophantic talking heads began spewing their bile over graphics proclaiming "CUMSTAIN ON DRESS?" in 200-point font.

Obviously to anyone with reading comprehension skills, FoxNews was the first purveyor of this kind of sensationalist tripe. But the others quickly followed. CNN is a joke, and the presence of Keith Olberman does nothing for MSNBC, as that bowtied ass Tucker Carlson counteracts his effects. And get me started on local TV news. I guarantee if they have helicopter footage of a fire, that will lede the broadcast, even if Pakistan nuked India.

SO now what do we have? A corporate-run media that jumps all over any story that might get people talking. Anna Nicole Smith? Check. Don Imus? Check. But I don't blame the newspeople, not entirely. They are just trying to appease the higher-ups, the bean-counters, the corporate fucks who have never written even one news article, conducted one interview or attended one boring-ass meeting. These jackoffs could give a fuck about actually informing people and the good of the community. Its all about ratings, and more specifically, the bottom line.






















Shit, newspapers were originally a public service, at least thats what I learned in Newspaper School. Ever heard of the Fourth Estate? Woodward and Bernstein? Well that is all down the tubes kids.


But anyway, this sensationalist aspect of news has totally destroyed any faith people have in reporters. And for that matter any stranger. Anyone that acts friendly is regarded with suspicion, because after all, the perv on "To Catch a Predator" last night talked the same way. And that, my friends, is why I was harassed for trying to write a nice little story about kids who like to read.
Questions? Comments?

Note: In no way does the Phillies current 1-6 record contribute to the anger that generated this post.

Monday, January 08, 2007

If I'm still working at this newspaper a year from now, shoot me in the head


"FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! MOTHER FUCKER! FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING STUPID SON OF A BITCH. SERIOUSLY, FUCKING STAB ME IN THE MOTHERFUCKING EYE." -Me

You know why my job sucks? The Eagles won a playoff game today, and I still hate the world right now.

Not to mention this afternoon before work I caught the matinee of Children of Men, which fucking rules. Seriously. Strawberry Cough.

So, to recap:
-"my team" wins playoff game
-best movie in the theater in the last 5 years
-i just punched myself in the eye hard enough to give myself a shiner

Two resumes are getting mailed out this week. So long West Chester, its been fun.