Deathmatch Counterpunch^2: Best Beer

Rolling Rock

Ah, that marvelous beer once brewed in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. Then big-and-bad Anheuser-Busch came along, scooped those green bottles up, and moved shop to Dirty Jersey. Jersey? Booo. Still, their pledge is inspiring:

From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment as a tribute to your good taste. It comes from the mountain springs to you.

I thought memorizing that tidbit and romantically reciting it to a hot piece-of-ass at the bar would be a guarantee score. Not so much. Still, the mysterious '33' is a good conversation starter.



Smithwick's

I was fortunate to be introduced to this fine Irish red ale by S-man. He received a case as a present from a co-worker and he was kind enough to share. Although we used it for beer baseball, which means I was drunk and not as appreciative to the flavor of a fine beer, Smithwick's caught my heart and I'm quick to order a pint if a bar has it on tap.



Moosehead Lager

The moose is loose! Once upon a time, I thought this tasty lager was brewed in the region by the lake in Maine with the same name. This bad boy is a Canadian beer, and now that Molson and Labatt are owned by a foreign company, Moosehead is Canada's largest brewery. Congrats on that.

Furthermore, this is a fighting beer. Use the Moose in your beer pong/baseball tournament and you will most likely have a throw down by the end of the night. Tempers flare when you start debating whether a steal was legitimate or not.

Just like a one-flip suicide squeeze, each and every Moosehead is special:



Guinness

The sweet nectar from Dublin had to make my list. A great beer to warm you up on a cold winter evening, or drop a shot of Jameson and Bailey's to make an Irish Car Bomb during a summer bachelor party. Either way, this is a staple to any beer fan's diet. Added bonus if the bartender can imprint a clover in the head.

As fine as it is, Guinness isn't the greatest binge-beer. Besides being pricey, morning-after Guinness farts and shits are the worst. Damn. Although I've been told Guinness has similar good-for-the-heart characteristics as wine. So you'd have that going for you.



Coors Barmen Pilsner

Yeah that's right, bitch. Coors. I said it. The boys in the Rockies brew this beer for only a few restaurants and bars in the Golden, CO area. I was fortunate enough to eat at one during my trip to the area back in 2002. The 7-minute pilsner went nicely with the slab of meat I had for dinner. Well worth the wait. If you're in the vicinity, order one. Then again, if you find yourself in the town of Golden, I could suggest a few other "activities" to experience as well, but that's off subject.