The greatest drinking games of all times redux
This was originally a series of posts I did it back in January, but to commemorate the one year anniversary of this blog, I'm putting it all together. Plus, it's still probably the best and most coherent thing to grace this here small space of interweb. It was also the beginning of a more proactive approach to posting by me that has raised the number of regular readers of the fainting goats from two to 10. Enjoy.
So I got a call tonight from someone who I'll call "the godfather" of this blog. And he made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Well actually I could refuse, cause he lives 4 million miles away and I am soooo lazy. But nevertheless, he made some good points and here we are.
The criteria are determined but not entirely understood by me. Fuck what you think, I am the decider.
First observe the unofficial mascot. The patron saint of all binge drinking: Nude Heuch Keggy.
Now here we go.
10. The cigarette burn game. In this a game you take a cup and fasten tissue paper across the top with a rubber band. Place a penny in the center of the paper and fire up some cancer sticks. Everyone need not smoke but the more the better. One person will burn the tissue paper with their cig, and the next guy has to drink while the tissue paper is burning. Eventually the penny will fall, but do not doubt the freakish strength of tissue paper. Whoever makes the penny fall has to drink a whole beer or do 8 shots or something.
9. Keg Race. 2 teams, each with their own keg. Whoever runs dry first wins. Its inadvisable to play this with less than 15(?) people per team. For all you crazy frat boys out there, it makes for a good competition between pledge classes. Seniors always win.
8. Quarters. There are many variations on this simple game of bouncing quarter into a shot glass/mug/ice cube tray/strippers vagina but my personal favorite is speed quarters. In which you flip the quarters into 2 or more shot glasses as fast as you can, racing around the table. Anytime someone gets passed they must drink. Also, don't forget variations where someone can make a rule if they make 3 in a row.
7. Beer Pong.
With all apologies to my east coast homeys this version is played with paddles. Teams of two hit the ball back and forth at the 2 cups set up on each side. Hit the cup=1 point, losers take a sip. Put it in=3 points, losers pound the rest. You can counter if the ball hits your cup, but not if it goes in (no shit). Honestly, this isn't even that good of a game (sorry CW), but it comes into play later in the countdown.
6. Caps. Ah caps. Truly a man's game. Sit in teams of two, teammates next to each other on the floor, across from the opposing team. Fling caps at the other team's cup, positioned between the two teammates. Sinking it means the other team must drink a full beer between them. No "half beers" and damn sure no "pussy caps" where each teammate only has to take a sip. A made cap can be countered by a made cap from the other team. no points are exchanged on counters but it continues in order as long as caps are made, only the threat of drinking remains as punishment of a miss. Many variations of this game exist as well. Standard rules are to 11, win by two. STEEL CONDOMS!
There truly is nothing better than a caps league, complete with running commentary on all the games from Hertel. That crazy bastard is probably dead now.
Stay tuned for the top 5, coming sometime in the next week if I feel like it.
After much consideration, deep thought and whiskey, lets continue the countdown.
5. Asshole. Really this is just the token card game, with all apologies to Kings. Playable by any number of people. The object of the game is too get rid on all your cards. Play starts with the 3 of clubs then continues where each person has to play a card of equal or greater numerical value. You can also play doubles (ie 2 sevens) or triples, after which only doubles or triples of higher value can be played. If a card is played on another card of the same value, the next player is skipped and must drink. If you can't make a play, drink. 2s clear the pile. 4s can be played on anything and are a social. If all you have left are 2s you can give them away by holding them up in the air for some quick thinker to snatch away. And one optional variation is if a player has the completion of a set of 4, they can throw it down out of turn, also clearing the pile.
The first person to get rid of all their cards in the first round becomes president. Second=vice president. The hierarchy continues down to the last person, the asshole, who must deal the cards and clear them during the game. During the game the president rules and can make anyone drink or whatever. But while dealing the asshole can order out drinks. Positions change after each round, and moving around the table in accordance with rank is suggested. A three-term president gets to make a rule.
OK I think thats it. I never realized how complicated this game actually was. Also, a google image search of "asshole" is ill-advised.
4. The Triathlon. This game is not for the meek. In fact it is 3 games in 1. Two teams of 2 square off in an epic battle of caps, beer pong and finally cups.(Note: I realize cups has not yet been mentioned in this countdown, but its a simple game really -- drink then flip cup. Also, this is the version of beer pong played with paddles.)
Basically you play all three of these games to 15, starting with caps, then beer pong and finally cups. Each team should have a 30 pack to start, chances are it will be gone by the end. COnsequences of playing this are unpredictable, but whoever wins has bragging rights for quite a while. For example I remember CW and Denevi making a run of beating several consecutive challengers. In my defense, I was playing with Charlie. But Cullen and I eventually took them down, leaving Denevi to barefootedly scream gibberish about "stupid cubs fans" and CW hopelessly clinging to an exposed beam in his room while imitating Snarf from Thundercats. Ahhhhh, good times.
3.Beirut aka Beer Pong.
The classic ping pong ball throwing game. Once again two teams of 2, take turns throwing the ping pong ball at each others pyramid of cups. Honestly if you have never played this before, you are an idiot. But heres a diagram to help out.
House rules are in effect, ie just make shit up as you go along, and then in later games adhere to the same rules. Although if a team makes both their shots, they get the ball back.
When playing at a big party, get a list of challengers going, winner stays on the table.
Another interesting variation is to play "full contact" where a player can run over to the other side and try to get their ball back if it caroms wildly after a miss. Although that can result in violence or locking yourself in the laundry room while some maniac bangs on the door with a chair.
Thats it for now, big finish coming later tonight. One game is obvious, but whats the other?
This would have been up earlier, but I found the RBI baseball drinking game and after a few clicks discovered some sort of RBI baseball subculture on the Interwebs.
Anyway, lets finish this thing.
2. Baseball. Even though it's only been played a couple times, it is incredibly awesome. Its like a combination of cups and beirut and baseball plus a million. If only I had known about in college. Single tear. Here's the setup:
I recommend you print this out and tape it to your forehead.The rules are the same as baseball, a miss is an out, 3 outs per inning, 9 innings per game. Best played with 3 people per team, but 2 is OK and 1 can suffice for the truly hardcore.
The twist is stolen bases. At any point when you have runners on base, you can run over to the side of the table with the stolen base cup and flip it. Someone on the other team needs to be alert and run over as well, if the offensive player flips his cup first, its a steal. Vice versa is caught stealing. Never has stealing home been so fun and easy.
And remember should the champion be unable to fulfill its duties for any reason, Baseball would take over as number 1. I don't know what that means.
1. Cups The grand champion. So diverse and awesome. Be it playing 20 on 20 against sketchy frat boys from Michigan, who then fuck their girlfriends/sluts under the pool table in the chapter room -- or 60 games of 2v2 against Rymac and Ryno on the sundeck on a lazy friday afternoon -- or even a cups tournament in the Kave where your partner injures his shoulder a couple days prior but still tries to compete with his arm in a sling, probably doing further damage to said shoulder -- This game is a winner and winners play this game.
Everyone should fill their beers an equal amount. I personally prefer less beer per round and more rounds. First person drinks, sets their cup on the edge of the table and flips it 180 degrees so it lands upside down. Then the next person drinks and so on. First team to the end wins.
Some versions of this game stand out:
Guys v Girls: Always good for some nice old fashioned sexist remarks, This also pairs well with strip cups and pants down/shirts off cups.
Survivor: Losing team must vote off one of their own. This can result in backroom strategy, not to mention one person drinking 7 cups of beer to match up with the other team.
2v2: For the intense competitor. Playing thousands of games of 2v2 led to such terms as "reset time" referring to how fast you could flip again after a missed flip and "cups czar" of which I am an emeritus.
Random bets: One particular instance was when Heuch and I decided the losing team had to go pick a fight with DK, a douchebag NUKE. Which I did by walking up to him, throwing his hat and slapping him upside the head. That was a good night.
Strategy. One of the greatest things about this game is the shit talk. After someone misses a few flips they tend to get flustered, which can be augmented by screaming in their ear. Also don't be afraid to use 2 hands. While the rules concerning number of hands are sketchy at best, chances are in the heat of the game no one will call you on it.
"What are you talking about guys? That flip was legit."
So there it is, get out there and drink everyone. In putting this together I realized there are many other games that deserve their due, an honorable mention if you will. So that post may be coming. Someday.
I'll leave you with the godfather TMoney creating his own variation of beirut. He describes it as " me spinning around 10 times on a baseball bat and then trying to throw a beer pong shot, while being harried by dogs."
I'm not sure its as good as all that, but the maniacal laugh/classic point at the end are fantastic.
Might as well throw this up here now cause I have zero other ideas until baseball season starts.
Kings:
Another good game for a good sized crowd of people who don't necessarily know each other that well. Spread a deck of cards in a circle on the table around a cup (the "King cup"). The rules can vary, but here's what I can remember:2-drink two
3-give three
4-social
5-something
6-something else
7-i don't care
8-fuck you
9-Bust a rhyme. Say a phrase, next person "busts a rhyme." Whoever fails to make a rhyme or rhymes with the same word drinks
10-I never
Jack-Categories. Choose a category (ie brands of beer, bill paxton movies, whatever -- get creative). Failure drinks
Queen-Question. Turn to someone in the group and asks a question. That person then turns to someone else and asks something else. Whoever breaks sequence has to drink.
King-Pour some of your drink into the King cup. When that last King is drawn it ends the game and that player has to drink the King cup. It can be interesting if strangely different drinks are poured in it. The combination of whiskey sour, rum and coke and miller lite is outstanding. I suggest you try it.
Wine Game: Pretty simple concept. Pass around a bottle/jug of wine, preferably one of those big
And whomever finishes the bottle gets to go out in the street and smash it.
I'm told this is a fun game for catholics, cause they can pretend the wine is the blood of christ or something. Mmmmmm, that's good Jesus blood.
F*ck the dealer:
Another card game. Dealer holds the cards. Next person guesses a number. Dealer says higher or lower. Person guesses again. If they are right, dealer drinks. Wrong, they drink. Guess right, guess again. Guess wrong, dealer moves to the next person. Three wrongs in a row and the dealer passes the deck. Also, the cards get laid out on the table as the game goes along. The last dealer gets screwed.Edward 40 Hands:
Tape a forty to each of your hands. Duct tape works well.
Century Club: Shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes. The big brother of power hour. And never play the "30 pack Challenge."
OK, thats it I think.
Yeah I am done.
Thats it for now. Later this pm I'm going to put up something comprehensive, complete with linky goodness.
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