PURE garbage

I came across an article on the AP wire last week about how clubs are paying celebrities to make appearances. Central to the article is PURE, which is the fucking abortion of a nightclub at Caesars Palace.

A little background: When I attended Metzger's bachelor party in Vegas, we "got the hookup" which allowed us to enter said club and get a VIP table. What they don't tell you is that you have to get bottle service at the table, with a 4 bottle minumum. You may think that paying $400 for a bottle of absolut or Johnny Walker RED would make you enjoy it more. It doesn't.

dr.gpiece and I enjoy our time as VIPs

I must admit it was kind of cool to sit in the VIP section, with our own bouncer. He even brought girls over to us, so they could look on with disdain while doing $25 shots of booze. Sound bitter? Well I am. If memory serves only one person at the party got any play that night, and it was with some sort of local hippie.

My point is Pure sucks, and should be avoided at all costs. I would actually pay money NOT to go there at this point. Granted "clubs" aren't really my scene -- what with the turbos and overpriced drinks -- but it's hard for me to badmouth anywhere that serves alcohol and has hot women.

When I spotted the article on the AP wire -- little free advertising for a place I wish would host a Great White concert -- I died a little inside. It details how Paris Hilton and Britney Spears were paid more money than I make in five years to party at the club for one night. From the article:

"It's fun to be famous and rich. That's why people pay to get in and watch," said Lori Levine, the president of Flying Television, a talent-booking firm in New York.
"If you go to a club to see one of the 'It' girls, you take a photo on your phone and you'll have a story to tell for the rest of the summer," she said.

Nevermind that Lori Levine is only quotable because she gobbles cock like its scrambled eggs, but taking picture of Paris on my camera phone (note: I do not have a camera phone) would entertain me all summer? Only if she adds "me fucking" and by "entertain me all summer" she means "necessitate a prescription for Valtrex."

The article goes on to talk about appearance fees for NBA players and Britney Spears passing out at the club to much fanfare. Honestly, I want to say "good on you" to these celebrities who can get paid just to party. They are taking advantage of a severely fucked up system, and likely will blow whatever funds they get on strippers, drugs and child support.

But for those that go to these clubs just to see some untalented it girl or black man who can dunk, I say fuck you. You are the reason the terrorists hate us. And that goes double for all the sycophantic douchebags in the media who slobber the metaphorical knobs of the latest "stars." It's one thing to give appropriate adulation to someone with real talent, an artist that can make you realize something new and unique about the world. It's another to treat a no-talent slut/hack like Paris Hilton or Dane Cook* like they are above the law.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to prepare for an interview with Bam Margera.


*Seriously, I saw Vicious Circle last week. I was stoned and laughed once.