Deathmatch Listoff: Favorite players to heckle in left field at Citizens Bank Park on Sundays

Matt Stairs (Toronto Blue Jays)

This dude got a beating for no other reason than he plays left field for a team that beat us in the 1993 World Series (damn you Joe Carter). That and supposedly his last name is the same thing he should take more often. Being called a fat ass by a dude choking down a greasy cheesesteak must be the ultimate diss.

Pat Burrell (Philadelphia Phillies)

Considering we're a town that throws snowballs at Santa Clause, it shouldn't be surprising that we don't back down at hassling the shit out of our own players. Especially when he is making a team-leading $13M this year and he can't chase down a fly ball to save his life. Regardless, he's always met with pomp and circumstance upon returning to the field after blasting a Burrell Bomb. He needs to beat his wife more. Inappropriate? Worked out pretty well for Brett Myers.



Milton Bradley (San Diego Padres)

Milton Bradley hates Philly because Philly hates Milton Bradley because we can. Milt was a bit flamboyant on his home run trot during an earlier game and the fans made sure to remind him that he wasn't in southern Cali. Sympathy? Try calling Darryl Strawberry and ask him how it felt getting pelted by batteries. I'm sure he'll tell you how a little coke goes a long way in easing those pains. I digress. Milton "not the game company" Bradley tried his hand at flapping his jaw back at the crowd a few times while in left field. Good thinking.


Matt Diaz (Atlanta Braves)

I think Diaz really enjoyed our heckling. Several times we noticed him slapping his glove against his knee to the beat of our "You suck Diaz!" chant. But the real fun part about this dude was the pronunciation of his last name. Most people assumed "Dee-az" instead of the proper "Die-az" and it pissed the living shit out of a black-hat wearing douche in our row. Then when said douche try to heckle the hecklers regarding the proper way to pronounce his name, the focus turned to him. Chants of "You suck Diaz" were traded in for "You suck black hat." I'm sure Matt "don't call me 'Dee-az'" Diaz appreciated your support, black hat. Extra kudos to Mr. Diaz in flicking off the girl in the front row. Yes, the one with the nice "smile."



Alfonso Soriano (Chicago Cubs)

Alfonso was one of the top stars to pick daisy in left field during a Sunday home game at The Bank. A year earlier, while he was in the midst of a 40/40 season and approaching free-agency, Philly fans were more interested in getting Mr. Soriano to slip into a Phillies uniform, but with his high-dollar deal in the windy city, he received his fair share of shit. He, too, decided to talk shit back to the fans. Come on, Alfonso, you'll only make us more pissed at you. Even the old lady a few seats down from me removed her dentures to tell you to blow it out your ass. You should know better.



Honorable Mention (i.e., he who doesn't play day games after evening games)

Hmmm. There is a well-heckled baseball player who plays left fiend for a team that played the Phightins during the weekend that wasn't mentioned. Who could it be? If my memory serves me correctly, he broke a major record this year. Unfortunately Barry was out of the lineup on the Sunday when the Giants were in town (Shane Victorino day). In his defence, it was also raining that day. If he did play, I would have thanked him for the elevated value of his rookie card that I have.