Wherefore art thou, Jeremy Bloom?

I couldn't watch the entire Eagles-Packers game, because I was at work. Well I did watch the first half in its entirety because I was the only person in the newsroom. But then the enormously fat copy editor waddled in wheezing like a bastard.

Rather than engage in conversation with the 500 pound man while he devoured an entire 20-piece bucket from KFC, I went back to my desk. He then inexplicably changed the channel to the Phillies. I caught snippets of the second half, but fortunately missed the ending field goal.

So I'll avoid making any in depth analysis of the game, except to say -- Greg Lewis, WHY? Did you forget your crack? Seriously the guy is a dead ringer for Tyrone Biggums. Too bad the game was in crack-free Green Bay. If only they flew into Milwaukee, he could have run down to the corner. Then with his crack-fueled super senses he never would have muffed that punt in the first quarter, allowing the Pack their only touchdown.

Also, I'm pretty sure JR Reed had his leg amputated like 2 years ago. I guess it grew back? Like a starfish?

Yeah I don't have a point. Congrats Green Bay, maybe this week one victory will finally avenge 4th and 26. Can Freddie Mitchell can return kicks? I'm pretty sure he's available.

Anyway my (red)hat's off to Brett Favre and the rest of the Packers. You managed to take advantage of the Eagles' miscues and win your home opener. Surely Favre will get some robot parts installed midseason and guide that scrappy group of youngsters to the playoffs.

But beware Purple Jesus. He is a vengeful Jesus.