Fight the power
M-V-P, M-V-P, M-V-PWell here we are. It's October and the Phillies are inexplicably still alive. Despite missing Ryan Howard and Chase Utley for about a month each. Despite the presence of Adam Eaton (left off the playoff roster, thank god). Despite Charlie Manuel's midseason fight with a "noted" radio personality. Despite the bullpen's tendency for domestic abuse. Despite it all, and somehow in despite of history, the team will face God's team of destiny in the divisional round starting Wednesday.
I must admit, Wes Helms notwithstanding, I love this team. I want to gently hold it while it whispers sweet nothings in my ear. I want to spend all night walking with it on the streets of New York or perhaps Paris, sharing our deepest passions until the sun comes up. I want to put it in its butt.
It wasn't always this way. Earlier this summer the team earned derision for its 10,000th loss. As little as a month ago the thought of the Phillies overtaking the unstoppable juggernaut that was the New York Mets was implausible at best.
But then they swept those Mets. And then they swept them again. And then Jose Reyes realized that he is a bitch. And the Phillies line-up (sparked by Pat Burrell no less) started running through National League pitchers like a werewolf with a chainsaw for a dick.
They had 48 come from behind wins. Think about that for a second. Of their 89 wins, more than half came after they trailed. Of course when your pitching staff resembles a MASH unit for much of the year, it becomes necessary. Anybody remember Jon Lieber? How bout that Freddy Garcia signing? Praise Kyle Kendrick.
So now they face that other team that made an improbable run just to make the postseason. Chances are many a pitcher will want to tap out after a few to many innings in the two best hitters parks in baseball. But anything can happen. They have the opportunity. Despite the presence of Dane Cook, I cannot wait. Go Phils.
Oh yeah, and if you haven't seen it, check out Mr. Met's ill-fated suicide attempts, followed by an assist from the Phanatic in this sketch from Conan.
3 comments:
The Phillies are my Golden State Warriors. I can't fucking wait for the division series. Also, Dinosaurs love Hawaiians and the island of Maui, where they starred in their most popular feature film.
The Phanatic must have went on a coke filled bulemic binge.
If there is Fainting Goats Hall of Fame, this post should make it on its first year of eligibility.
The ump at yesterday's game was obviously Rockies-bias. Probably paid by an offspring of Adolph Coors. Regardless, all of Chase's and Howard's Ks didn't help the cause.
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