It turns out the alligator was sexually harassing that woman

You know, sometimes its hard to come up with stuff to post on here. To "feed the goat" if you will. And that's kind of weird because goats will eat anything.

Forced metaphors aside, one of the old standbys for posts here is something from the animal kingdom. So today let's take a look at the orcas of the forest: Bears.

These furry bastards have a long and storied history of entertainment value. I believe the first instance of bears in pop culture was Gentle Ben. OK that's not true. Bear baiting was fucking intense. (Note: Simpsons reference)

My personal bear experience is limited to two incidents:
1. Joe, my roommate in college, had a life-size snarling bear head wearing a football helmet. It was both disturbingly scary and proved his Chicago Bear fan bonafides. Many a visitor in our apartment were frightened by it. I believe one of his family members had actually made it, detailed painting and all. Clearly he comes from good stock.

2. Hiking in Glacier National Park I encountered a momma bear with her cub. We came around the bend and saw the little cub about 50 yards up the trail. It looked like a little raccoon. But my thought process went from "awwwww" to "Holy Shit, run away!" when its 400-pound parent came lumbering out of the woods. I'm just glad it wasn't a Grizzly.

Clearly these fuckers are a menace, Stephen Colbert will surely tell you. Although I think his singling out of Grant Hill is unfair and unwarranted.

Not really sure where all this is going, but I do know that Bears should be allowed to participate in eating competitions.