En Guard!

The awesome Philadelphia tradition known as the Wing Bowl is today. It's hard to believe this thing has been around for 16 years. Nothing better than getting drunk at 5 a.m. Wingettes plus scummy morning radio hosts equals pure class. Funny story actually -- last year we ran a big spread on the front page of our paper about the wing bowl. But it seems the local populace was less-concerned with eating hero "Dr. Slob" than the scantily-clad Wingettes corrupting area youth.

Obama wants to legalize pot. But, shhhh, it's a secret.

From I-Mockery we have this video of fatalities from the game "Tattoo Assassins." Bad game, or worst game ever? You be the judge.


Montel Williams lost his job. Apparently he tried to stand up for journalistic ethics on Fox News or something. A sad day for the man I like to call the black Phil Donohue.

John Kruk was on Aqua Teen Hunger Force for some reason. As a Siren. Like a band? No.

Old people, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can serve a purpose. And that purpose is counting the number of sheets in a roll of toilet paper.

Finally, despite its perversion by the media, try to remember the true meaning of Barbaro Day: "The day that human beings learned to put their differences aside and treat one another as they would want a 1,200-pound racehorse to be treated."

That's it. We've come a long way on these internets and I'm calling it a day.