Send it down the memory hole

Undoubtedly by now you've heard about the Senate voting to approve the new FISA bill on Wednesday. The big beef many have is how it provides telecom companies like AT&T and Verizon protection from litigation for the government-ordered warrantless spying they've been doing since 9/11. Whatever. Good luck with all that.

But of course the freedom-loving terrorists on the internet and in the ACLU are upset about this latest infringement on their precious "rights." We're disallusioned with the U.S. government! Washington politicians are shredding the Constitution! Frowny face! Hey jerks, remember when habeus corpus was suspended last year? You all got your panties in a twist, and it ended up being a whole lot of fuss about nothing. I don't know anyone who has been held without trial, do you? No harm no foul.

The real casualty in the constant surveillance of everyone everywhere is the low-level NSA employee. Personally, I feel safer knowing the government is eavesdropping on your discussion with Aunt Ginnie about beets or bedspreads. But how many inane conversations are these poor fools going to have to listen to? Sure there are computers that search for keywords, but what about when frat boy #1 sets off the sensors by saying "Dude I got bombed last night. Declared jihad on my liver!" (and these conversations are probably quite common). Shit, you'll probably enjoy phone sex with your girl more now knowing some G-Man is listening in, you sick fuck.

The next president will probably want some sort of "results" from the dismantling of the fourth amendment. If there's a terror attack after all this, heads are most assuredly going to roll -- and not just Nick Berg's (too soon?). We can't be having FEMA-level incompetence when invading the private lives of law-abiding citizens -- that would be morally wrong. And the information gathered must be reliable if we're to count on an influx of dollars when these public stats are sold to interested parties. Companies aren't going to pay for bad intel.

Fortunately Barack Obama sees the big picture and voted for this bill -- despite Jesse Jackson threatening to bite his nuts off. And despite the bill's opposition by liberals already upset with Obama's radical "centering" tactics in his bid "to be elected president." As usual these elitist pinkos miss the big picture with their claims of creeping fascism. The first and second amendments are still kicking, and they're the only ones that matter to real American patriots. People who refuse to let inconvenience, common sense, and the threat of property damage stop them from doing something worth watching.