Outta my way, I'm Durnk

So there was some Australian who got a DUI for passing out drunk a wheelchair. Uh, why was he taking a motorised wheelchair on the highway? Best not question it I suppose. But it got me thinking, what would be the best self-powered transportation in which to get/avoid a DUI? If I do need to get somewhere quick after a bottle of wine or two, what vehicle would be ideal? It certainly wouldn't be a tractor.

Bicycle
This is the most likely, like yesterday. Hopefully soon while wearing a gorilla suit.

Horse
This would only work if I knew how to ride a horse. Also, it would be good if it was my horse and lived at my house, so it knows where it's going. You ain't getting me on some random horse off the street, cause that's a recipe for a broken collar bone.

Aircraft
Ah the old drunken pilot, truly one of the world's great treasures. This would have to be some sort of ultralight device, and even then taking off and landing could be problematic. One of those big parachutes with the fan on the back would work. It's probably even legal to fly one of those without a license.

Rickshaw
For some reason I think it would be really fun to pick people up in a rickshaw while drunk. They think they're in for a nice human powered ride, then BAM they're stuck behind some drunken asshole wheeling them at high speeds through crowded city streets. Their only hope for escape is when the driver has to stop to water the bushes.

Monorail
Here's a token simpsons reference. Also, its on one rail, so it would be hard to screw up.


Badonkadonk (pictured above)
Like a tank, but without the gun. Clearly the best option. If only I had an extra 20K lying around. I know the PA system, plush interior, and external camera would come in handy for cruising.

Any other ideas? Hovercraft? Don't drink and drive.