The existential dilemma of the Cornell bear
Look at that bear. So fucking pissed. A berth in the sweet sixteen is no consolation for him. He's all like "Get this goddamn giant C off of me. I find it constricting!" Or maybe he's like "Ge da fuck away fo ma C! It mines." And in case you couldn't tell in the second scenario the bear has a West Philly accent. Either way the bear is frustrated with it's existence, trapped and/or defending a giant red letter C.
And before you get all up in my face in the comments, like "Dude, why you repping Cornell?" "PAC-10 rulz, Ivy League droolz!" (don't deny these were your initial sentiments) keep in mind that I merely enjoy looking at that bear, and laughing at it because it can't get to me with an albatross of a giant letter around its neck (also: imaginary). A scarlet letter, even. Levels!
5 comments:
At least he got to go to Cornell. Poor Gentle Ben only got in to the University of Illinois. And we see how that turned out: a rollercoaster ride of gorging and sedatives on the talk show circuit.
Your most essaying post ever? Existence!
It has a thesis at least, which is rare here these days, in the Year of Glad. Also, your use of exclamation points today made me realize I hate them and have been using them too much, in lieu of theses.
Exclamation points suck and so does your racist bear impersonation!!
Shoes!!!
You may have already came upon this but I think it's right up your alley!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhG9ex--Hg0
-Shibby
The second exclamation point was for emphasis.
Also, from Taibbi, on your Cornell Bears:
I also get that D-1 college basketball is crooked as a barrel of snakes and that recruiting whizzes like John Calipari are morally probably on par with white-slavers and Colombian drug lords. But while they’re still teenagers basketball is a life-or-death deal for kids like Wall and Cousins and their families. So I have a little trouble with all of these stories talking about how we should root for the Big Red because the Cornell kids just try harder and love the game more.
White Slavers? Yes!
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