The Pittsburgh Family Plan
One thing not mentioned in the post last week about road trips is the weird conversations that can take place. Extremely bizarre trains of thought explored for no reason other than shared boredom in a confined space. To wit.
At some point as we left Pittsburgh hungover and sleepy someone suggested that they should put their phone on the vibrate setting, shove it up their ass, and call it. Obviously this was hilarious. In any setting outside of a car trip, it would just lay there to die, like an AIDS-ridden homeless man. But in this case the idea festered, and it became imperative that it was given a suitable name.
It took the better part of an hour. Eventually it was decided that someone would have to get two phones, if they were really dedicated to the idea of shoving one up their ass. After all, who would want to use a phone that had been up an ass. Gross. And so the "Pittsburgh Family Plan" was born. Cleveland and Cincinnati have their own disgusting sex acts, why not Pittsburgh? It's a shitty town.
4 comments:
with a shitty shitty baseball team.
Which reminds me, Goats. It's on this week. We're leading the wild card. You're leading some strange AAAA-league known as NLEAST.
On like RBI baseball. If only the ghosts of Pete Incaviglia and Chili Davis could mate violently. What would their baby look like, you ask? That's easy. Shane Victorino.
Addendum: this is why we shouldn't look up our heroes on wikipedia:
On August 5, 2003, Tina Placourakis filed a civil suite in Maricopa County Civil Court to recoup assets brought into the marriage.[1] [2] During the trial, Placourakis alleged that Chili Davis had attacked her in her home while she was showering, held her to the floor with his foot, spit chewing tobacco onto her and urinated into a drain next to her head over several hours with the intent of intimidating her into signing over the title of a car. Placourakis also testified that one night after moving out of the home she shared with Davis, she awoke one night to find Davis sitting in a chair next to her bed. He then handed her a phone and asked her if there was anyone she wanted to call then ripped the phone from the wall.[3] In court Placourakis' counsel introduced a tape where Davis could be heard saying, "Tina, you deserved to get hit . . . and any woman that I ever met like you deserves to get their ass kicked." [4]
chili davis...was she a member of tlc? there was the girl with a condom in place of the left lens of her glasses, hence the name left eye. and i think chili was one of the other two.
Apparently someone by the name of R_Rambone is familiar to the Pittsburgh Family Plan as well and decided to add it to Urban Dictionary.
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