What the shit is this

Just when you thought things couldn't get anymore absurd -- Burger King releases a body spray. Warning: There are things in that link that will haunt you forever.

This product begs all kinds of questions -- like what does it smell like? Answer: Burgers. Do people actually want to smell like "the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat" as the company says? Maybe, but it's doubtful that's an accurate description. According to assumptions I'm making while I type this, it smells more like Sex Panther. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.

After an unreasonable amount of thought, I can only come up with two reasons for this to exist. There may be more but thinking about fast-food scented perfume fills me with confounded rage -- a feeling I've been trying to avoid.

1) Kitsch/Irony. Ha ha you got meat spray in your stocking. Hilariously worthless!

2) Marketing. This is almost certainly how this came to be. Some flack thought an ironic and useless product would be a good way to expand on the creepy-ass king mascot campaign. Thus raising public awareness of their "wacky" burger king brand. And from looking at the results of google news search, it seems to have worked.