I'm a soldier

Since I haven't updated in a while I'm gonna throw some crap up here and see if it sticks.


Don't underestimate banana's role in the war on terror. In other words -- THE WAR ON TERROR IS TOTALLY BANANAS! That "my hands are bananas" video I posted a couple months back probably got me on the FBI's watch list. jerks.








FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!










Uhhhh... apparently I am now the computer guy in the newsroom, which kind of sucks, but it does give me reason to be even more surly than normal. YOUR WELCOME!
Seriously though. Today I had to present the new computer system to some random suit named Nilay Pradesh (probably not his real name).






MALA-HALA-MALA MAHA-AHMALA.


what? no dirty work?



And since that probably doesn't make any sense I should probably wrap this up and stew over some sort of epic Shane Victorino vs. David Akers confrontation. PEACE

Avatar? WTF is Avatar!

I was supremely amused looking at my yahoo avatar today. For some reason my pseudo digital self is wearing a turkey suit. Not sure why I made that choice. It is disappointing that the tail obsures the alien standing next to me.

Also yahoo apparently has been tracking my fantasy sports leagues all these years, compiling everything. I had a team called Lords of the Bling in an NBA fantasy league in 2003 that somehow finished second. Thats an imaginary silver trophy lining my virtual trophy case. HIGH FIVE!

But anyway, back to avatars. For me to understand avatars I look to 2 sources:

Snow Crash: A book by Neal Stephenson, where Hiro Protagonist's avatar runs wild as a samurai sword weilding badass in the three dimensional computer created world known as the "Metaverse". This is the best science fiction book I've read, probably.

The Matrix: As Morpheus puts it -- digital representation of our physical self. This version springs directly from the users subconcience. Better put -- slaves mind. But I can't get into the Matrix, cause its pretty complicated.

So yeah, I know avatars are digital representations of computer users in a virtual world. Be them sprung from the users imagination(Snow Crash) or the subconcious(The Matrix).

While I hate to say the Matrix is not realistic -cough- Snow Crash's avatars are far closer to my turkey suit wearing jerkass.

Anger is a gift

Because there isn't enough on the Internets that is barely comprehensible to the author, let alone any poor soul who stumbles across it and dares to attempt reading for comprehension...

Was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face?





Is it possible fight a class war with guns?
Cause I think we got the numbers.
When Warren Buffet is bitching about paying too little taxes, I know there's something wrong.

And then you got old Newt. Honestly, when reading that Newt Gingrich may run for president, I can't help but think I am on the wrong side, living here the U.S.

We worship our own shit. Literally praying to the porcelain god.
Sure theres the whole Christianity thing we got going, what with the fundies and G-Dub and all, but lets get real. Does anyone with an IQ over 90 outside of Colorado Springs actually believe in the rapture? I mean seriously, Jesus Camp? WTF! Seeing insanity replace the golden rule makes me far more confident in my atheism.

People here care more about Paris Hilton grabbing Britney Spears' titty than they do about the lives of thousands of people who worship a slightly different god.


In the newsroom we joke that 1,000 Iraqis dead=1 American dead, for newsworthyness (not a word). There is a whole breakdown that could be its own post. And its funny cause its true. Gotta love dark humor.

So the question is -- Can history repeat itself?

The answer is most certainly yes, especially if you ignore the past.
A majority of Americans would gladly accept new insect fascist overlords, as long as quality television programming like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars remains uninterrupted.

This is the kind of thinking that can set me off into some serious depression, so I better stop now. Happy thoughts....

2 weeks til VEGAS BABY VEGAS! Digital camera in hand, that will make for some good blogging.

Normally, I think Bono's a douchebag, but...

Silly rock stars and your implausible scenarios. And if you wonder why i dislike Bono, check out the glasses.


But seriously, the Eagles loss to the Jags put me in a funk like no other. Chanting "Iverson for president" or "AI for prez" and the miraculous finding of Siter's ticket only lightens the mood so much.

First I took the whole "we're nothing but a small speck of dust in the universe" approach, how much does an Eagles loss mean anyways? The answer was nothing. But ended up being too depressing.

Then I realized -- fuck the universe, there's way more important shit than the Eagles here on good old Earth. What with our future of humanity and what have you.

So yeah, in conclusion, vote.

stuck in the middle with you

Doesn't it make you feel better? The pigs have won the war.
I know I had it coming. I know I can't be free.
Pain is an illusion.