A paragraph from the first chapter of Moby Dick

What of it, If some old hunks of a sea-captain orders me to get a broom and sweep down the decks? What does that indignity amount to, weighed, I mean, in the scales of the New Testament? Do you think archangel Gabriel thinks anything less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that instance? Who ain't a slave? Tell me that. Well, then, however the old sea-captains may order me about—however they may thump and punch me about, I have the satisfaction of knowing it is all right; that everybody else is in one way or another served in much the same way—either in a physical or metaphysical point of view, that is; and so the universal thump is passed around, and all hands should rub each other's shoulder-blades, and be content.

-posted because old hunks of sea-captain ordered it so.
Now this is happening. I was going to do a book club type post with "actual thought expressed on a blog" and "asking for input on what might be a good follow-up book for Infinite Jest" but fuck man quoting Melville is way easier and less productive. Plus Inherent Vice was a good follow-up (Pynchon-lite!), and finishing IJ has cleared fears of other intimidating reads, besides the bible, probably.

Anyway, here is a tangible highlight of said post as it existed in my brain.

Book club: Endnote 304

Maybe book club isn't the best term for this, a drifting post about David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest, which I am reading. Because "book club" insinuates people, or at least more than one person, participating. So this is less book club, and more person reading a book, and then blogging about it. If we're calling a spade a spade, you know? Although maybe someone else has read this book and also this blog and can provide some comment. Yes/No/Maybe so?

I heartily recommend making the effort (and it is an effort), at this point of my being 150 pages into the 1097 or so total, including some 100 pages of endnotes. There are stumbling blocks, like the "Wardine/dopesick" sections, which switch over to a weird narrative voice that is like the dumbest of Youtube comments, without the L337. These sections vaguely remind me of the parts of Faulkner's As I Lay Dying that are narrated by Vardaman, the retard or whatever. I haven't read that shit since high school. But these narrators are not retarded, just drug addicts/residents of the projects.

Anyway: Endnote 304. It's about kids in Canada playing this game where they jump in front of approaching trains -- the winner is the last person to successfully cross the tracks in front the train safely. Actually, that's not exactly true -- the endnote (which is some 8 pages long) is about one character plagiarizing a scholarly work that describes the above game, as it pertains to the Quebec separatists. This takes place in the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment. The plagiarizing, not the train jumping. Although maybe the train jumping still takes place in the Y. of the D.A.U., its not exactly clear at this point.

I felt guilty about reading this endnote, which was referred to in other endnotes but had not yet come in the actual text. So reading it, skipping ahead, felt like it was cheating somehow. Which is kind of a weird emotion to have about reading a book I own. But I was assuaged by various posts at Infinite Summer (a valuable resource), that said its no big deal to read 304, and that the narrator was telling us to read it by referring to it in the other endnotes. And now I am glad I read it, because the wheelchair assassins make more sense, at least in their origin.

In conclusion, a description of Cage III: Free Show, which is contained in the filmography of one James O. Incandenza, aka Endnote 24.

* B.S. Latrodectus Mactans Productions/Infernatron Animation Concepts, Canada. Cosgrove Watt, P.A. Heaven, Everard Maynell, Pam Heath; partial animation; 35 mm.; 65 minutes; black and white; sound. The figure of Death (Heath) presides over the front entrance of a carnival sideshow whose spectators watch performers undergo unspeakable degradations so grotesquely compelling that the spectators’ eyes become larger and larger until the spectators themselves are transformed into gigantic eyeballs in chairs, while on the other side of the sideshow tent the figure of Life (Heaven) uses a megaphone to invite fairgoers to an exhibition in which, if the fairgoers consent to undergo unspeakable degradations, they can witness ordinary persons gradually turn into gigantic eyeballs. INTERLACE TELENT FEATURE CARTRIDGE #357-65-65

edit: Upon rereading this post, I have come to realize it makes little to no sense outside of my own brain/the brain of someone who has also read this book. I would try and fix this post, by which I mean make it coherent, but that's impossible barring a red wine and quaalude bender. So read this book and then you will be privy to jokes about Interdependence Day and The Year of the trial-size Dove Bar and excessive use of acronyms. Also here's a DFW interview if you are interested.

FGBC: World War Z

Here's a quick hit installment of the book club -- regarding to World War Z, by Max Brooks. It's a pretty quick read. I know some have voiced their displeasure toward Brooks' previous 'Zombie Survival Guide' but this is somewhat enjoyable, if not 'good'.

The narrative takes the form of interviews -- the author talks to survivors about their experiences during the so-called Zombie War. It's an interesting style that I think adds to the book. Rather than get bogged down in one individual story, you get a broader picture of how people are dealing with the living dead the world over.

It's largely brainless (Maybe a zombie ate it. ZING), and sometimes Brooks gets hung up stupid details. But other times the details add to the story, like how the American soldiers get psyched for battle by listening to Iron Maiden. The 'Great Panic' chapter is pretty solid with its hopeless downfall of humanity and all that.

I think the best parts of this book are when the character's stories offer veiled comment on modern day issues like energy policy and environmentalism. And no, I can't think of specific examples. But the part about the Japanese guy blinded at Hiroshima finally finding his true purpose by killing the undead may have something to do with it.

Bottom line, if you like stories about zombies, you will probably enjoy this book. It's a good one for the beach. Goats grade: B minus.

Alls well that ends well

Finally finished Blood Meridian, and figured it would be a good time to bring back the old book club, if only for one week. Not so ambiguous ending aside, that book one of the best pieces of fiction I've ever read, and not just because of the violence.

Well, mostly because of the violence. Judge Holden is terrifying and one of the most interesting characters ever. His resume off the top of my head:
-Spiritual leader of the Glanton Gang
-Tall, hairless
-Expert in war theory
-Can make gunpowder in a pinch
-Fiddler
-Literally records and destroys history
-Babykiller
-Possibly immortal/Says he will never die

I don't want to think about what exactly happened to the Kid. That final scene is pretty disturbing -- the judge embraces him in his "immense and terrible flesh" and then goes and dances forever. And why did they have to kill the dancing bear? It never hurt anyone.

I still think my favorite part is when the Judge says that bird's freedom is an insult to him, and that he would have them all in zoos. To which someone responds that would be a hell of a zoo, and the Judge agrees.

Whether the Judge is an angel of death, a demon or what is hard to say. I just read an essay that said he is like Moby Dick, and another that says he is a gnostic archon, or "creator god" that stands between man and the all-powerful God that can be reached through spiritual knowledge. This does comply with the many conversations the Judge has with the gang.

One last thought -- the book can be a slog to get through. The excessive violence, immense vocabulary, and almost Faulknerian writing style all meant I had to take a couple breaks for some lighter fare. But it also means I am going to read it again.

FGBC: Attacked by Comanches

Here we'll take a look at Blood Meridian chapters 3 and 4. I'll admit, I read ahead, because it's getting harder to keep a slow pace as the story picks up steam. But we'll see how it goes.

The main gist of these chapters is the kid enlisting in with a company of army irregulars aka filibusters for some reason.. The company then goes on an ill-advised march into the desert to fight the Mexicans and is attacked by Indians.

It's good to see the advances in troop recruitment from then to now. From pulling soldiers out of trees to pulling them out of schools. And clearly it sucks to be traveling across the desert by horse, what with the wolves and the dying and all. I especially enjoyed the Capn White interview. The kid is scrappy.

But clearly the awesome is the two page one paragraph zombie Comanche attack. This is just brutal fucking crazy people slaughter. Horses screaming and the army getting run down and scalped by monguls "running about with a peculiar bandylegged trot like creatures driven to alien forms of locomotion" and so on with the sodomy.

This book is starting to remind me of a horribly bloody 'Huckleberry Finn' -- the constant change of scenery, various characters appearing and disappearing in the story. Moving west v. traveling down the Mississippi.

Unanswered Questions:
Road novel?
The kid vs Huckleberry Finn?
Can we go to 2 chapters a week?
Captain White: casual racist, moron or both?
The Mule is OK, right?

FGBC: I might do

In chapter 2, the kid makes his way out into the nowheres of Texas on his trusty mule. I think the mule is my favorite character so far, ugly beast that it be. Carries the kid without complaint -- but given the chance it'll make his way to water. Here's hoping it makes its way to greener pastures someday, but I doubt it.

One thing that struck me in this chapter is the imagery McCarthy uses -- the shadow that stretches out for miles in front the kid as he rides the mule, his crazy hat, etc.

On his journey the kid encounters a creepy hermit and some ranchers. The hermit is an interesting character, an ex-slaver his $200 nigger heart and his staring at the kid while he sleeps. Their conversation is a good one, especially this passage:

No. It's a mystery. A man's at odds to know his mind cause his mind is aught he has to know it with. He can know his heart, but he dont want to. Rightly so. Best not look in there. It aint the heart of a creature that is bound in the way that God has set for it. You can find meanness in the least of creatures, but when God made man the devil was at his elbow. A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make a machine. And evil that can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it. You believe that?

I think this is a good illustration of McCarthy weaving gnosticism(for lack of a better term) into the story. I think he's saying that while evil exists in all animals and all the world for that matter. But in man that evil manifests itself with more purity, more concentration. "An evil that can run itself a thousand years" is a horrifying prospect, but I think its true. Here I could make comparisons to post-modern institutions destroying those they are designed to serve and those who operate within them, but that's something for another day.

After the kid gets to whatever town he's at now, he tries to barter for a drink. The bartender won't serve him so once again it's fightin' time. The next morning the kid wakes up in some church ruins, and goes off to find his missing mule, which is down by the river (not in a van) watering. I am trying to recall the last sentence, something about a wretched baptism. Seemed appropriate.

Also, even though the Judge doesn't show up in this chapter, I gotta give props to dr.gpiece for comparing him to Charlie Villanueva. Definitely a more apt comparison than Shaq.

Unanswered questions
You think the bartender would have served the kid to avoid a broken bottle in the eye?
Are the Indians going to show up soon?
Why did I just read that spoiler?

FGBC: The fuck is a Toadvine?

Here we are, first chapter of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian. First thing I noticed was the dialogue -- or lack there of. Eventually I realized that just because there are no quotation marks it doesn't mean the characters aren't talking to each other. The more you know.

Night of your birth. Thirty-three. The Leonids they were called. God how the stars did fall. I looked for blackness, holes in the heavens. The Dipper stove.

The chapter starts by introducing us to the main character, the protagonist if you will, known only as the kid. We get a little backstory, typical American tale of woe: Born in Tennessee under a famous meteor shower, Mother died in childbirth, Father never said a word about her. Shot twice on a riverboat, so he sits down. Eventually he makes his way to Nacogdoches, Texas, which is where most of the action takes place in Chapter 1.

In Nacogdoches, the kid slips into a revival tent, which is packed with smelly folks trying to avoid the rain. Here we meet the judge, a giant man who accuses the preacher of being a fraudulent goat-fucker, and the crowd presumably kills him. Later it turns out the judge didn't even know the preacher, and everyone laughs. I like to think of the judge as a white, hairless Shaquille O'Neal.

Later the kid decides to fight some character because they don't want to step in the mud (cause it has been raining for more than 2 weeks). Then he gets knocked out and when he wakes up he helps Toadvine smoke some guy out of his hotel room, burning down the hotel in the process. He then slinks out of town on his trusty mule.

The kid is clearly badass, he kicks a lot of ass in this chapter. Going forward, I'll be interested to see what kind of themes develop. I doubt there will be a classic good v. evil clashes. I got the sense in this chapter that the kid is just kind of flying by the seat of his pants in a chaotic world. There is no good or evil, only men, making their way in an unforgiving and harsh land.

That's pretty much all I got for now. I read this chapter twice just to get some grasp of what was going on, and some parts are still confusing. Reading slowly and several times seems like it could be prudent.

Unanswered Questions:
Did anyone else read the book?
Why doesn't the Judge have any hair?
Gnosticism?
Will violence solve anything?
How many comparisons will I be able to make between this and No Country for Old Men?

Thus begins the fainting goats book club

In case you can't tell from image of Sam Snail at an indian massacre above, the first choice for our book club is Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy.

I considered A People's History of the United States, but then I saw that it's more than 700 pages, and thats a little long for the first choice. Then I considered Deadspin Editor Will Leitch's "God Save the Fan" purely for the links I could milk out of it. But I don't think Deadspinners are ready for the raw power of my posts about whales or penguins. Maybe next time.

As for how this will work, we're going to shoot for a chapter a week. I'll make a post on Thursdays where I'll offer a few thoughts, and then everyone can go nuts in the comments. And if I know the commenters here, that means we'll get two cryptic lines from TMoney, something kind of useful from Charles and/or Sean, followed by a completely off-topic link or description of future ski vacations from anonymous and a dr.gpiece rant about Christians or Tom Brady.

Of course when this plan doesn't work/turns into a clusterfuck, we'll switch to a e-mail thingamabob. It starts next week, first Thursday in February. I for one look forward to the scalpings.

Read a f***ing book

Anyone interested in some sort of "book club" sponsored by this here fainting goats? And by sponsored, I mean a loose affiliation, contributing nothing in the way of funds or prizes. I will offer a small amount of moral support in the form of Sam the Skateboarding Snail.

Even if the book club doesn't happen, I still found this awesome poster

As a way of getting the ball rolling, here are a few suggestions for books that we could start with (all in paperback, key). If there is any interest we can work out the particulars of how this would work, perhaps some via some sort of e-mail discussion.

Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. A commenter suggested I read McCarthy's "The Road" last week, but this is already sitting on my shelf. Been meaning to read some of his stuff, especially since I saw No Country for Old Men. According to the two reviews I just read online, "Blood Meridian" is regarded as one of the best, if not the best, of McCarthy's works.

No Logo by Naomi Klein. The non-fiction option. It examines how corporate brands have taken over, and the damage super-branding has done to culture, work and everyday life the world over. From what I hear its one of the best left-leaning books written in the past 10 years. It's not a shoe, its a lifestyle!

World War Z by Max Brooks. An oral history of the zombie war. Need I say more? I will anyway. Following up on his 'Zombie Survival Guide' Brooks offers a variety of first-hand accounts describing different aspects of the inevitable zombie-human conflict.

Have suggestions of your own? Perhaps something not so bleak or that you got for free off a shelf at National Public Radio? I'm open to suggestions.

An Aspiring Intellectual Deadbeat

"I dust a bit ... in addition, I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip."
-Ignatius J. Reilly

I just finished "A Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole earlier this week. I guess those Pulitzer Prize people know what they are doing, because the book is hilarious. I was wondering and worrying a bit about where it was all going at certain points, but holy shit does it come together at the end. If you haven't read this book, you're missing out.

The protagonist of the story is Ignatius J. Reilly, an elephant of a man who lives with his mother and has, let's say, a "unique" view of the world. Throughout the novel he gets into all kinds of adventures through his jobs at a pants company and as a hot dog vendor. He encounters a variety of obstacles and adversaries to his questionable goals (the crusade for Moorish dignity?) including birds, plainclothes police officers, violent lesbians, a drunken driving accident, Nazi pornographers and orphans.

The book offers a portrait of New Orleans so well defined that some suggested they use it as a rebuilding guide after Katrina. That is not a joke, I don't think. The dialog is unique and often hilarious, with local inflections and what-not. Whoa!

There are a bunch of other memorable characters besides Ignatius. Burma Jones for example, the constantly smoking young black man who sees all behind his dark glasses. Or Trixie, the senile old bat who works with Ignatius at one point and calls him Gloria. Trixie also gets false teeth, which she uses to bite people. You can't make this stuff up.

How it the book came to be is an interesting story in itself. Toole killed himself before the book was published. His mother found the manuscript and eventually was able to get it published after she brought it to novelist Walter Percy, who also wrote this in the foreword.

But Toole's greatest achievement is Ignatius Reilly himself, intellectual, ideologue, deadbeat, goof-off, glutton, who should repel the reader with his gargantuan bloats, his thunderous contempt and one-man war against everybody -- Freud, homosexuals, heterosexuals, Protestants, and the assorted excesses of modern times. Imagine an Aquinas gone to pot, transported to New Orleans whence he makes a wild foray through the swamps to LSU at Baton Rouge, where his lumber jacket is stolen in the faculty men's room where he is seated, overcome by mammoth gastrointestinal problems. His pyloric valve periodically closes in response to the lack of a "proper geometry and theology" in the modern world.

So, uh, yeah. He's also dressed as a pirate for like half the book.

Final note: Apparently there have been many efforts to make a Confederacy of Dunces movie. Chris Farley, John Belushi, John Candy, and most recently Will Farrell have all been in the fold to play Ignatius. But who knows if it'll ever happen.