Given that Marmaduke is a movie nobody asked for, nobody enjoyed, and nobody will remember, why was it made? Dear readers, I believe this film to be a cinematic time capsule, a veritable cross section of a sick society that pours $50 million and countless man-hours into a cultural artifact nobody gives a shit about, like the Phoenicians' idol to Ba'al. The film will find a shelf life on DVD and lie undisturbed in NetFlix warehouses until civilization dies. When the smoke clears, our descendants will find this film hidden in a bunker somewhere, nod their heads sagely, and murmur with their leper tongues, "This is why they fell."
-somebody is thinking way too hard about Marmaduke
4 comments:
Oh right, the Phoenicians idol to Ba'al. We all know how that turned out, right? What an apt comparison!
Yeah I saw that movie. Last Friday with my son. He loved it. I felt a sort of apoplexy, which is to say that about halfway through, the world itself took on the glossed abstraction of its opposite: a world without Marmaduke. So more or less I suffered some sort of mild stroke and have been struggling, ever since, to regain a basic hold on my sentence structures. I'm serious. There are many things in this life that should have never been (sand piled in basements for parties?), but this movie, to use the sort of cliche it has violently forced me to employ, via said trauma, takes the fucking cake.
Jesus man ... couldn't wait for Toy Story 3?
We went to go see Shrek, but my son refuses to wear the 3D glasses (rightfully so?), and since the stupid Midwestern theatre doesn't show Shrek in "normal" dimensions, the only thing left was Marmaduke. Which is how most calamities occur, I would argue?
Also, went to Fancy's 30th bday in Chicago on Saturday. BA and I talked stoically of adulthood. Wyrwicz wasn't drinking. Mike Brown is engaged to be married and was wearing a pink shirt. I played cups with Erskine until 3am. That last one sounds about right.
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