Input requested?

I'm high-tailing it out of town Saturday, to the New York, despite/because of various events slash party type things that are happening around here. To avoid them. Plus, if you have the opportunity to visit a city that smells very much like garbage the first weekend of the year that the temperature could creep into the 90s, you gotta do it ho ho!

I am considering going to the Tribeca Film Festival while there, because I like movies, and why not? These are the options of what to see, based on time restraints:Metropia, Freakonomics, Spork, or The Trotsky. Any advice? Thoughts? Concerns? There is everything from animated Swedish sci-fi noir to hermaphroditic outcasts redeemed through booty-poppin' dance moves to the reincarnations of legendary Communist leaders to examinations of corruption in sumo wrestling. Also there's this one that says mature audiences only, which intrigues me of course.

To difficult for me to decide really, I'll probably just bike around Central Park a bunch in leiu of picking one(Vidal Sassoon The Movie?). But hey please offer your opinion on what I should do, so I can dismiss and ridicule it when I get back and put something up here about whatever the hell happens this weekend. This is participatory journalism! Plus if anything goes terribly wrong then I can look at your not-so-sage-in-retrospect advice and pass the buck on consequences of my actions.

Don't listen to me BTW

After I wrote that post below, which may or may not have made salient points about valuing one's entertainment-viewing experience and not wasting time on drivel, I spent much of the afternoon watching this video. It's disturbing, yet I can't look away. Does it really need to be nearly seven minutes long? Probably not! The baby's legs are like rubber!

No accounting for taste

A couple weekends back I was at a collegiate-style "house party" at my house, and someone put on Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA" and I had no fucking clue what it was. My fellow party-goers incredulity could have been embarrassing (FOR THEM) when I asked "Who sings this song?" but I saved face by mumbling something about not listening to popular music, doing 3 or 4 shots of spiced rum in succession and then going outside and smashing wicker furniture in the street.

Interpersonal skills aside, this little episode made several things clear. Let's not focus on those, and instead get into murky thoughts on high v. low culture. Perhaps they will become less murky via this post? Doubtful. Most of the widely-disseminated shit this days is just that. How much thought does watching 'Dancing with the Stars' require? Seriously, I'm asking. How about a little fucking nuance, Tom Bergeron. With near infinite entertainment options these days, its like important to not waste to much time on brainless observing.



I think this is why a show like Lost has some appeal (you knew I'd get there eventually). A lot of it is obvious and stupid and fun to mock, but at least there are obscure parallels between threads of storyline and whatnot. There is some attempt to examine the big questions -- fate v. free will, good v. evil and the like. Sawyer's pretty much a nihilist, which is cool for him. These are some of the reasons why you can't dismiss arguments that Lost is the best show ever on network television out of hand, even though the argument is provably wrong.

The point I may or may not be making is that culture that makes you think=good, brainless tedium=bad. Talk about burying the lead. And also that what is popular is the tedium, because people are dumb. Oh yeah, this post is really coming together now. Elitism and misanthropy, two personality traits I often hide/express via smashing things. Of course there is also something to be said for simpler pleasures, as long as you only enjoy them ironically and or via schadenfreude or they are made by Pixar.

Things I don't care for/about today

Polls
Televised dancing ability
The word "dramedy"
Hockey
The Pope
Icelandic volcanoes, and Iceland in general probably
Snake hunting
The GUNZ R GAY stencil on the lightpost near my house
Rod Blagojevich
Skateboarders
Danielle Steel
'Spartacus' on StarZ (Oh yeah you heard me Sean)
Those clowns in Washington
Leeks
William T. Vollman in drag
The PDF file format
Making this list
7-Eleven brand premium beer at a below premium price

Mocking Creed is Highly Enjoyable

I've got 6 weeks left in Africa and I have basically written off work at this point. Most of my days involve watching pirated DVDs, reading blogs, going to the casino to play hold em, and keeping boda robert, my motorcycle taxi pre-rolled j delivery man in a job. Today I was treated to a video via Ufford's blog. Enjoy.

Fireball!

As loathsome as I may find this place/the guy who cut me off and nearly killed me this morning, at least isn't Trenton, N.J. Thank you Trentonian, for providing me with a bike-rage assuaging chuckle. I especially enjoy the complete lack of context, unless the "Grade School Sex Shock" somehow caused the fireball? Perhaps turning to page "p3" for more information is implied ... even though there is no indication that isn't just a stray left there by the page designer, from this perspective. Anyway.

It runs in the family

"What have you done for feminism lately?"

-the sister, to some decked-out skank at the bar during a night this past weekend when the word party was used as a verb, repeatedly. I found it wildly hilarious. Take that, you cheese-faced bitch! In any case, my sibling's little bon mot was better received than my loud, way-to-detailed descriptions of Accomplice! probably. I don't really remember.

Backwash

See, now I'm looking at that rant from earlier this week and thinking it is embarassing. Stupid brain, so petulant. As a way of amends making, here is a video of some tubby chick grinding on a guy in a hoverround at a Phillies game.



Well. Clearly its no threesome with two black prostitutes at the same time* but I'm not going to look for anything remotely resembling that on youtube right now. Also. I was looking back in the archives for something good and Phillies related - perhaps you would be interested in it? No? Well fuck you here's stuff anyway.

Odds on World Series MVP. I was right!

This photo was something I made. Shark messiah! I forget why. Probably sad about the 10,000th loss.



Or how about this one, where I learn important life lessons about heckling white baseball players or something. Dammit, where is that one where I took a picture of a retarded Mets fan. Oh here it is.

This is way easier that trying to come up with something new, that's for sure. Plus like half the things on here in the summer months have at least some Phillies non sequitor, ie BAAHHHHHHH JOE BLANTON.

Not to say I don't have any ideas for goats bait, but I'm just lazy/hungover/busy/there's soccer on/some new Netflix just arrived/excuse du jour. Also I need someone to take pictures of me running over my phone with my bike. Using the timer option on the camera is too tricky, I've found. So for now, I'll just quote myself out of context. So meta!

Some "baseball purists" might say that fan interference ruins the sport, that the players on the field should determine the result. Pffft, gay. The real problem with this idea is that some might hesitate to part with their $7 beers. But in reality, isn't $7 a small price to pay for the respect of your peers and the broadcast television audience? If there's any genuine truth in this world, it's that everyone loves someone who disrupts a sporting event. Also if you drink half the beer first it mitigates some of the cost, without significant lessening of the projectiles soaking ability.

*Which I have been informed is every man's dream.

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

GOD DAMMIT. IF YOU PRINT OUT ONE MORE FUCKING E-MAIL AND HAND IT TO ME I AM GOING TO CRUMPLE IT UP AND CRAM IT RIGHT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT. FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE MAN. THERE IS A THING, IT IS CALLED THE FORWARD BUTTON. IT IS COMMON ON MANY IF NOT ALL E-MAIL PROGRAMS! AND ANOTHER THING OF WHICH YOU ALSO LIKELY ARE NOT AWARE: I WAS SENT THE ORIGINAL E-MAIL. ALTHOUGH I SUPPOSE IF YOU STILL PRINT OUT E-MAILS AND DISTRIBUTE THEM BY HAND YOU CAN'T REALLY BE BLAMED FOR NOT CHECKING WHO WAS CARBON COPIED OR WHO IS LISTED IN THE RECIPIENTS FIELD, YOU DUMB FUCKING LUDDITE BASTARD. OH, WHAT'S THIS? ANOTHER EDITOR JUST FORWARDED ME THE EXACT SAME E-MAIL. IT IS OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE THAT I DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION POST FUCKING HASTE, APPARENTLY. THIS LITTLE EPISODE COULD VERY WELL BE USED AS AN EXAMPLE OF THE TYPES OF HURDLES A NEWSPAPER COMPANY MUST FACE AS IT ATTEMPTS A TRANSITION TO A FUTURE IN MULTI-MEDIA. DEAR GOD FUCK YOU ALL I HATE MONDAY.

Here's a picture I saw on the internet

From left to right, what the dudes are thinking at this exact moment:

Keep it level.

Go!

Look at that fucking turtle. hehheh.

This is truly the culmination of my life's work.

The turtle is either thinking "Weeee" or "Oh Shit" depending on how it lands.

Cat with hands

Not to be confused with Birds with arms of course. Cats with hands, way worse. And yeah, I linked to the that thread before, probably. Fuck you.

pertinent edit: The video is gone, if you want to see it google cat with hands, it's on youtube

Here is a music video

A blatant ripoff of the Smack My Bitch Up vid, or an homage? I report, you decide. Warning: Don't click that link around authority figures.

Possible prank idea?

I'm not exactly sure how an 'Old Gregg' themed prank would work, but it would certainly include screaming 'I HAVE A MAN-GINA' repeatedly in a public place.