I blame Seymour Hersh

So, if "news reports" are to be believed Cheney's secret assassination squads were scuttled by the chief of the CIA. Even in this age of global terrorism, clandestine paramilitary operations without the knowledge or permission of pretty much any other arm of government is frowned upon. Military officials would rather bomb the shit out of suspected cave-dwelling muslims with high-tech flying robots, collateral damage be damned. It's a shame really, because if there is one thing we can learn from watching fictional movies, its that groups of mercenary assassins are damn near the most effective evil-doer thwarting mechanism available to the Western world, outside of pair of mis-matched cop-like people, one or both of whom were recently suspended from the force.

Here are examples, because how better for the goats to shit all over this important news, all the while adding little to no new ideas and little context. Blog-style! Yu might say my whole life has been leading up to this point. In fact, you could literally say that and be accurate, because of the nature of time.

Its unclear now and likely forever how these "surgical" operatives were assembled, if they were at all. But the most important thing would be to make sure they have a leader who would never flinch or hesitate, and be willing to spend years away from his wife and newborn child. Especially as the group slowly confronts the moral dilemma of being the agent of a somewhat shadowy government cabal bent on revenge against Arabs.

Of course, come conspiracy theorists might think that revenge on the Arabs is unnecessary, because they say initial attack was in fact an "inside job" perpetrated by these elite government agents in the first place. Fortunately, even if this is the case, these people are cut from the same cloth as anarchists and other dregs, so their opinions don't hold much sway, crudely produced documentaries notwithstanding.

But obviously the training of these elite squads is paramount. Super soldiers don't just reanimate themselves in a secret government bases on their own. It's not exactly clear what kind of training would be necessary -- Interrogation and interrogation resistance, explosives and weapons training, whatever. That shit is boring, and best confined to a montage.

It all pays off when to take out a Central American jungle base, just cook up a story and drop your elite squad of potential governors armed with absurd guns into the meat grinder. They'll take out the base so fast they won't have time to bleed, one-liners pending. Of course, if there is some sort of alien "predator" also in the jungle hunting humans, the team's survival is not guaranteed, or even likely.

But death is not the worst option because there is always a chance that a well-funded killing machine/person will "flip" and hijack a warship with the intention of stealing the nuclear weapons found therein. It would probably be embarassing to have to sit down and explain how this nut-case (let's call him "Stranex") could take over a battleship, and how you lost control of him. Chances are you will not be able to rely on a former Navy Seal turned chef to bail you out. Maybe they would try to wipe his memory or something, but I doubt that would work. Seems outlandish.