Drunken Tales

In order to try to make regular posts, I plan on telling some interesting (to me) tales of belligerence from my past. And what better way to get it started than the infamous 'Iowa shitter' incident.

So back in college, every year we would have a rush trip to an away NU football game. Basically it was an excuse to get wasted somewhere else, and on a bus.

In the fall of 2000, said road trip was to Iowa for the NU-Iowa football game. That year, the football team enjoyed an unprecedented number of ridiculous victorys in games the team had no business winning. So we headed to Iowa with nothing less than a Rose Bowl bid on the line.

Of course NU lost, relegating them to a horrific beat down by Nebraska in the Alamo Bowl. We responded to Iowa chants of "overrated" with chants of our own like "Cut the Mullet" and "You still live here." Keeping it classy as always.

But the true tale comes when myself and Anjelk made our way to the stadium bathroom, likely due to the numerous games of cups we had played prior to entering the stadium.

Its important to note that the stalls in the bathroom had no doors, so those brave enough to drop the cosby kids off at the pool would have to do so in front of dozens of fat midwesterners.

As we entered the pisser, I noticed a man sitting on the floor, with a bunch of sheets of newpaper under his ass. He had a wheelchair nearby, and was not squatting, but sitting cheeks to floor, shitting on the newspaper. No one else in the restroom was phased by this at all. You might think that a Good Samaritan might come to this obviously handicapped man's aid, and help him shit in the bowl like a normal person. But i guess in Iowa, a fat retarded man shitting on the floor during a college football game is par for the course.

So anyway, I turned to Anjelk as we exited the bathroom and said, "Thats not something you see everyday."

At least the trip wasn't a total waste.