Don Vito Arrested

So I was diligently putting together the old People in the News/Weather page on the copy desk where I work. Nothing too special, Boy George sweeping for community service, etc. Then someone in sports is like-- 'did you see the Margera thing on the the entertainment wire?'
So, apparently Don Vito is being held in Colorado on some sort of sexual assualt charges involving, undoubtedly, 'a nice girl.'
I was just pissed because it bumped the story I had headlined:
"Kinky, Willie could team up in Texas" about Kinky Friedman's gubernatorial bid. Kinky has tabbed Willie Nelson to be some sort of advisor/consultant. Probably of gardening or something, I forget.

But anyway here's some classic Vito Gibberish to mark the occasion: