I love this team

Filled with adulterated glee, fueled by booze bukkake, Brett Myers later continued to celebrate the Phillies come from behind win in Colorado by paying a 19-year-old University of Denver freshman to beat the shit out of a bum with an empty champagne bottle. That bum's name? Dante Bichette. After coming to, Bichette was arrested for trying to enact a poorly conceived revenge beating, considering the Phillies had already flown back to Philadelphia while he was unconscious and bleeding in a bus terminal bathroom.

Jesus. Where the hell did that come from? Surely if I had typed something last night during the game it wouldn't be as depraved. It's unfortunate then that my auxiliary keyboard went on the fritz -- rendering me unable to type the letters m and h. In the past I have worked around this by copy and pasting them from various other websites. But last night jangled nerves and tired eyes prevented any such emergence. So here I am the next morning trying to capture some of the paling joy afforded myself and the rest of the Philadelphia region.

It was (is?) a great feeling -- something akin to this, in which the Phillies are the car, the kids at the bus stop are the Huston Street and Rockies, and the fans are the excited commentator. In this analogy Ryan Howard is the front driver side tire (or tyre, in the parlance of that video) and Chase Utley is the puddle.

Soaking British schoolchildren aside, not everyone feels this way. Take for example the salesperson I overheard this morning, whom I pity. She said something along the lines of "They were playing bad so I turned on 'Dancing with the Stars' and then I turned back and it was 4-2, did they win?" These are the perils of working in an office with aging dinosaurs.

But who cares about that woman right? Go sell some print ads to car dealers while you can you old battle-ax. For the rest of us this is a time to bask in the reflected glory of our sports heroes, until Thursday. These are men who refuse to give up even when everyone else is filled with dread. Men who say badass shit like "Get me to the plate boys" and then back it up. Men who spit in the face of people named Yorvit. As they should.