Going Down Like McNulty

This image has been altered to protect the guilty

I offer no context nor apologies for the above picture. Instead, with one episode to go, let's take a look back at my (admittedly facetious) preseason Wire predictions.

Bubbles finally gets off the needle - 1 for 1!

Clay Davis and the developers get taken down for corruption - Never underestimate the race card.

McNulty dies in a drunken-driving accident - No, this is stupid

Brother Mouzone comes back for some reason - Not yet (fingers crossed)

Method Man aka "Cheese" learns Randy Wagstaff is his son, forcing him to leave the Wu Tang Clan and start a family with Randy's burn victim foster mother - Uhhh, no

Under the tutelage of Bunny Colvin, Namond Brice gets into college - Count it!

Avon gets out of prison and starts his own bakery - No.

Prop Joe goes on "The Biggest Loser" - He was the biggest loser. When he died.

Carcetti becomes a racist - Only if he fires Norman

Snoop and Chris get bizayyyy - Apparently Snoop is a lesbian. Also, no.

Freamon ponders a problem, then figures it out - Obviously this happened

Rawls meets Omar, they run off together - Ummmm, no.

Two words: Race Riots - Unlikely

Bunk lights his clothes on fire ... again - This may have happened off camera

Well there you have it. My completely BS predictions went a solid 3 for 12. Fainting Goats, now 25 percent accurate!

The Machine Always Wins

"WE WILL PROTECT YOU"
-Tommy Carcetti

You may remember in last weeks book club i briefly mentioned the destruction of individuals by post-modern institutions. Well, I have been thrown into some sort of horrible downward spiral by episode 58 of The Wire. In turn I'm in a place where I need to ruminate on these thoughts, for my own peace of mind if nothing else (no spoilers).

To plagiarize a bunch of websites -- postmodernism refers to a state lacking a clear organizing principle and embodying extreme complexity, contradiction, ambiguity, diversity, and interconnectedness. Its hard to locate temporally or historically, because it's not clear exactly when it begins. The easiest way to understand it is to think about modernism (an esoteric concept in itself, but simplified: "It's all connected") with a cynical attitude. Google it if you need more, idiot.

David Simon, bleak motherfucker that he is, has made postmodernism one of the major themes of the Wire -- especially how this "attitude" results in institutions destroying people operating within them. There are countless examples in the show -- basically run down the character list, then omit a few, such as Marlo or Clay Davis (so far). Dukie could very well the most depressing character in the history of fiction.

Remember the hermit in Blood Meridian, when he said a machine that can make a machine, An evil that can run itself a thousand years? It's happened in these bureaucracies, be it government, schools, media, whatever. Some individuals operating within them are the cogs, the small moving parts slowly being worn down. Others are the fuel, burnt and changed forever. There is no operator. A self-perpetuating machine that crushes any individual who tries to stand up. Don't believe me? Go to the DMV.



I can only really speak on the institution I'm involved in. As much I want to believe the Wire is truth, the media is the only place I have experience as a small moving part. For some kind of perspective check out this article about how "flat earth news" is killing journalism. It starts kind of slow, but I think he hits the nail on the head.

Whereas you should have a system where journalists, working honestly and independently, make what used to be called news judgments and say this story is important, this angle needs to be expressed, this research needs to be done, instead now we sit there passively and those decisions are made by the whole magic world of PR and the public and private and the charity sector and the terrorist groups. They write the press releases and we bung ‘em in.

You may wonder why. Why don't those good-for-nothing journos do their jobs and parse the information, perhaps with a little analysis? Well, some do. But to think critically about what people are telling you takes time. You may not get a crucial call back -- but the story is still going to run. Deadline doesn't wait. And then that tardy source is pissed because you wrote a slanted story and won't talk to you, leading to more slanted bullshit stories from the same sources with the same insane ax to grind.

Another Wire theme that comes to mind here is "More with Less." Newsrooms across the country are increasingly asked to do more with less, as advertising budgets shrink and the investors get antsy. But as Gus Haynes so aptly put it, you don't do more with less, you do less with less. Reporters are expected to have stories every day. I'm not saying they shouldn't write stuff everyday, but do you really think there is going to be in-depth coverage coming from a doe-eyed 22-year-old who doesn't know anyone in the community? It takes time to cultivate quality sources, years in some cases. Imagine some unknown reporter calling you up, trying to get the dirt on your shit.

It begins

Well I already watched the first episode of the new season of The Wire -- available On Demand one week before it airs. Huzzah! The newsroom stuff seems promising. You can see series creator David Simon's experience coming through.

Anyway, not going to get into the new season yet.

I've been considering the most depressing event of the first four seasons. None of these compares in wrist-slitting sadness to the end of Jurassic Bark, but instead the gritty realism does something or other.

As always, sorry to those who don't watch this show. Seriously, I'm sad that you have not made time for the best show ever broadcast on American television. Go watch Dancing with the Stars, you fucks.

In no particular order (big spoiler alert):

D'Angelo killed in prison - "That's a life that had to be snatched."

Kima gets shot - Rawls comforting McNulty was a great scene

Bodie kills Wallace - "Be a fucking man!"

Sobotka killed by the Greek - Agent Koutris is a jerk

Bodie shot dead on his corner - like a soldier, standing tall to the end

Carcetti sells out the citizens of Baltimore for political gains - fucking bastard

Randy goes back to the group home - "You're gonna look out for me, Sergeant Carver? You got my back huh?"

Bubbles - his life sucks, everything he does is depressing. When can a junkie catch a break?

Nicky Sobotka's duck dies - probably shouldn't have given it shots of Jameson

11 Days

Less than 2 weeks til the best show on TV comes back. As Clay Davis would say -- "Sheeeeeit."

And because I'm feeling all listy this week, here's a some things that could/should happen in the final season:

Bubbles finally gets off the needle

Clay Davis and the developers get taken down for corruption

McNulty dies in a drunken-driving accident

Brother Mouzone comes back for some reason

Method Man aka "Cheese" learns Randy Wagstaff is his son, forcing him to leave the Wu Tang Clan and start a family with Randy's burn victim foster mother

Under the tutelage of Bunny Colvin, Namond Brice gets into college

Avon gets out of prison and starts his own bakery

Prop Joe goes on "The Biggest Loser"

Carcetti becomes a racist

Snoop and Chris get bizayyyy

Freamon ponders a problem, then figures it out

Rawls meets Omar, they run off together

Two words: Race Riots

Bunk lights his clothes on fire ... again

That's all I got, feel free to add your own in the comments (you know, if you watch the show)

Settle this once and forever

I have finally caught up and seen the entire series of the Wire. Here I may occasionally offer my take on some of the notable plot lines in advance of the new season premiering January 6. It's an expansive show with complex characters, but I'll do my best.

As with any show, the interactions between characters on 'The Wire' make it what it is. Conflict and resolution, I think they call it in high school english class. Be it Avon Barksdale and Stringer Bell, McNulty and Bunk, Bubbles and Greggs, Sobotka and Valchek, Prop Joe and Marlo, the list goes on and on. My point is the truths revealed by the way characters play off each other is a big reason the show is so good.

One of the best examples is the relationship between arguably two of the most stone cold gangsters on the show, Omar Little and Brother Mouzone.

Omar, quite frankly, is unlike any other character in the history of television. Robs drug dealers for a living, yet never turns his gun on a citizen. A thorn in the side of Baltimore kingpins from Barksdale to Marlo, kind of like a modern day Robin Hood. Also, he fucks dudes.

Brother Mouzzone is muscle enlisted from New York by Avon to hold onto the towers while Avon is in prison. He's basically a Louis Farrakhan rip off, if Farrakhan killed niggas. He's got the trademark suit and bowtie, rimmed glasses, is well-spoken and has penchant for highbrow literature and public commentary. Much comedy comes from Mouzone harassing his assistant for forgetting to buy his Harper's magazine.

In season 2, String allows East siders to take over a couple towers, so Prop Joe would provide him with that good package. Unfortunately, Avon (who is in prison) doesn't want to give up any territory, so he calls in Brother Mouzone. Stringer then enlists Omar to take out Brother Mouzone, because no one else is badass enough to take him out, and String needs Prop Joe to keep hooking him up with the good dope.

Omar is beholden to no man, so String tells him that Mouzone was the guy who tortured his lover in season one. Omar gets the drop on Brother Mouzone, with the help of his skank friends.

The brother returns to New York, only to return in season 3 -- in the clip embedded above. He gets Avon to sell out Stringer, and then he and Omar team up to form the deadliest hit duo pretty much ever. Stringer's got to get got.


As the brother says to Avon Barksdale, "The inner workings of your organization are of no concern to me." Stringer's fall cannot be called tragic, it was all part of the game.

Where the fuck is Wallace?

I have finally caught up and seen the entire series of the Wire. Here I may occasionally offer my take on some of the notable plot lines in advance of the new season premiering January 6. It's an expansive show with complex characters, but I'll do my best.



The above scene is one of the best from season one. Its D'Angelo Barksdale, confronting Stringer Bell after D got popped driving back from NYC with a trunk full of heroin.

Lets back it up. In season 1, D ran the low-rises, which were basically the low rung amongst Barksdale drug territory. He was demoted from running a tower because he let his emotions get away and capped someone in front of citizens. D'Angelo employs a bunch of young kids, aka hoppers, to sling the stash.

One of these kids is Wallace.

Without getting into too much detail, Wallace IDs a guy who had been involved in stealing the stash. The guy gets tortured to death and dumped in public so everyone can see what happens to those who steal from a Barksdale crew.

This seriously fucks with the young man's head, and he approaches D about getting out of the game, maybe going back to school. Meanwhile, our favorite Baltimore cops approach Wallace and flip him.

You know what happens to people who snitch.


It's a dark show. Sympathetic characters like D'Angelo and Wallace tend to end up victims of predatory motherfuckers. I had hopes that both of them could be redeemed at some point.

Wallace and D'Angelo share a bond -- D sees some of himself in Wallace, both have an awareness of how vicious the game is. Both wrestle with the uglier parts of street life, and wonder why it has to be that way. This is in contrast to soldiers like Bodie or Wee-Bey, who accept their lot and play their role.

Contemplative isn't a trait favored on the street.

Turn and face teh strange

I took a little break from posting on here. I was thinking, "hey maybe one of the other 'authors' will put something up." Not surprisingly, no one did. You lazy fucks.

So in the interest of not really having a point, here's a couple things I've been mulling -- besides the United States beating Mexico for the Gold Cup (soccer matters). Both of the following have been mentioned before (not necessarily by me, but the blagosphere is ad nauseum).

The Wire is so fucking good. I've been watching the old episodes on DVD to catch up before the fifth and final season.

As the season approaches I'll probably offers some more in depth stylings, character analysis, themes -- you know -- all that smart guy stuff. But for now, enjoy this video, especially if you've never seen it.

It's the entire first episode of season four. Hope you have an hour to kill.

I don't want to ruin it for you, but lets just say Snoop doesn't use that nail gun for what you think. Also, that opening scene is classic "Wire" in how it shows the interaction between the "straight" world and the "street" world. Home depot dude is totally befuddled.



Has anyone ever sold out more rapidly than the Black Eyed Peas?
One minute they were recording tracks like "Where is the love?"


The next minute they are changing the the lyrics of "Let's Get Retarded" to "Let's get it started" for a shitty NBA playoff promo. Yes, worse than David Blaine.

Fergie is fucking awful. My Humps? London Bridge? I will not post or link to either of those crimes against humanity.
And don't get me started on "Fergielicious."
What does that even mean? Can she only be described by a word combining her name and -licious? At least Beyonce can back up bootylicious claims with visual evidence.

From now on I will excuse all my actions by describing myself as thopetastic.

Don't try this shit at home

Hands down, The Wire is the best show on TV. So many reasons to watch. Granted, I didn't get into it until this season(4) but it grabs you by the neck and don't let go.

Shit, Omar in jail alone will keep me watching every week, cause somebody's getting shanked with the glass knife. FO SHO.
Goes to show you though, a show can kill off one of its best characters(Stringer Bell) and move another into the background(McNulty), yet become arguably better for it.

Plus pretty much everyone on it is badass in their own way, with the possible exception of Namond Brice.