And now for something completely different

Eventually one of the penguins, whom the zookeepers had named Merle, caught the butterfly and ate it. Then Merle died because that particular species of butterfly is poisonous to penguins. The end.

The adventures of Pierre the Penguin

Once upon a time there was a penguin. His name was Pierre, even though he wasn't French. He was African. He tried to tell his hippy minders at the California Academy of Sciences about his true heritage, but they just called him a jackass.

Lo 25 years Pierre lived at the academy, where had no freedom with which to insult anyone. He and his fellow penguins were happy in their zoo-like enclosure, frolicking and doing whatever else it is that penguins do. Eat fish I guess.

But in his 25th year, Pierre began to have a bit of a problem. He was going bald.


His loss of feathers undermined his status as colony elder and patriarch. In fact, some of the younger penguins began to make light of his featherless ass. It was a sad time for Pierre, as he could not swim with incurring a horrendous chill.

His minder Pam was not going to let Pierre suffer forever. She knew Pierre's proud nature and bought him a heat lamp. It helped, but he still could not truly partake in the full penguin lifestyle. So Pam got in touch with some dude who makes wetsuits. After a custom fitting, Pierre was big pimping in his neoprene.



He returned to the colony where his new attire made him quite popular with the ladies. The wetsuit allowed him to frolic like a penguin half his age. His penguin brothers marveled at his newfound exuberance and stopped making fun of him. But they still only offered patronizing praise.

That all was about to change. Soon Pierre's feathers were growing back and he was able to banish from the colony his arch nemesis, Scuba Dog. It was only then that he truly regained his peers respect. For Scuba Dog had ruled the colony with an iron fist, constantly stealing the penguins eggs and requesting tacos. The End.

Penguins are awesome

Last night I was watching March of the Penguins (What? It's not like there was a football game on or anything) and I came to the conclusion that penguins are great. Easily in the animal top 10 and probably the only birds on the list.

Listening to the dulcet tones of Morgan Freeman describe those little suckers braving the cold of Antarctica on their 70-mile walk to and from the sea every couple months, I realized something. Awwwwwwwwwww.

Looking around the internets, there are a ton of homemade penguin movies set to electronica for some reason. Does the birds flightless nature mean they take e-bombs? I guess chilling under the aurora australis is kind of like being around a bunch of free-basing glowstick dancers.

You may remember the Futurama episode were Bender thinks he's a penguin. I just read the script and it was good. Penguins only have two goals in life: 1. Acquire food 2. Frolic. Always remember the wisdom of Free Waterfall Sr. who once said, "Look nobody enjoys shooting penguins. But if you have to shoot penguins, well you might as well enjoy it." Also the buttocks are nature's pocket.

In other news, this little gif amuses me.

As per usual I am a little late picking up on this whole penguin trend -- there have been a couple animated features in the past year or so capitalizing on penguin popularity. But to be honest, I prefer real life penguins, not the surfing or dancing variety.

Anyway, here's a video. I think its from the british version of Planet Earth. David Attenborough > Sigourney Weaver