Halloween in Madison

This post has been a long time coming.

Two out of the three riots I've been in where in the same place on the same day of the year. When thousands of Badger students, along with students from all over the upper midwest gather in the land of cheese and beer it tends to get a little crazy.

First time:
I drove up with a bunch of NU peeps + Jenny. Not sure exactly what happened. A few memories remain:

Heuch, aka my nemesis, getting hit on by presumably gay dudes because he was rocking the sailor costume. I really wish I had that pic of him with the big black dude in a tutu.
Jenny (drunkenly) driving us back to Evanston in Joe's car (with Joe and Paulie passed out in the back). A two and a half hour drive. Good old Dodge Avenger. For american 90s era beater cars, the Avenger is only surpassed by the Ford Taurus.

My costume consisted only of glue-on fangs, a black hoodie and fake blood. Sketchy at best, especially cause I kept scaring the shit out of random people. Also, thats where the fake blood came from.

Second time:
This time I was living in Madison, so I got the full weekend experience.

The first night we got drunk sans costumes, I forget where.

I think we ended it at city bar, Melville and I, and we were walking back up State St. talking shit to anyone who would listen. Mostly each other.

Some chick in a bumblebee costume walked past, and Bob proceeded to heckle the shit out of her. I believe the gist was "YOU ARE A FAT BEE!"

So this leads to her accompanying dudes getting in Bob's face, and eventually tackling him. The one guy has him pinned to the ground. All I see is this random guys back, so I hit him repeatedly in the kidneys. That guy pissed blood the next day. We fled back to our house, fortunate to avoid arrest by the plethora of Police who were out, presumably to prevent events such as this.


The next night we all went out.

Roster/Costumes

Me/Sketchy Lil' Jon, and later after I met up with Adams, some sort of ridiculous gangsta
Bob/Agent Smith from the Matrix, not from Men in Black
Warden* and Maker/ the Bow(?) brothers, aka some crazy-ass fuckers they know who may have mullets
Pietro/Drunk Italian with a mustache?
Snight/something lame I'm sure (may or may not be a real person)
later we met up with John Adams/Lil' Jon

there were probably others there, but I forget

We went to some apartment party and took control of the keg, administering keg stands at leisure. After we got thrown out of there, and Bob tossed a beer on one of the hosts as the elevator door closed, we hit up State St.

This is all a blur, but I do remember Warden slapping ass and drunken video hijinks. I wish I had that video. I think Warden was interviewing random people on State street. Impersonating some sort of video producer kicks ass.

Yeah -- so neither time was I actually in the riot, but thats just cause I was smart enough not to get tear gassed.

*Warden=Rehfuss

Fake blood and you ... a pranksters guide

This story was told out in Vegas, and I cannot believe I hadn't put it up here yet. Stupid memory loss.

So some random night in Evanston, Paulie, Joe and I (I'm sure there were others there--Mueller?) proceed to tie one on. I think we started with 40s purchased across the street at D&D Ghetto Grocery, followed by caps, gravity bongs, and the 1800 Club. As an aside for those who know, 1800 Club>PURE, despite the presence of Cornelius.


So we kick it in the 1800 Club beer garden for a while, get even more plastered, and eventually head back to my apartment while committing felonious acts of vandalism.

A quick note about the apartment, because it's important later. Joe and I lived on the "garden" level of a 4-story apartment building just off NU campus. It was pretty good size for 2 people, but still fairly ghetto due its lack of windows and the general economic instability of its tenants. My bedroom featured glass double doors into the living room, which I had classily taped up with old newspapers. But we did have two TVs for some reason.

So anyway, we get back and chill to the free cable, and as per usual, Joe passes out on the couch. Not sure how it started, but Paulie and I decide to fuck with him, frankly, because we could. It was one of the most enjoyable things about my senior year -- having someone pass out on the couch every night, and messing with him at our leisure.

So anyway, I have the brilliant idea to bust out the fake blood I have left over from Halloween. I think we put some on his hand and arm. And laughed uproariously. But Joe did not wake, and eventually we passed out ourselves.

The next morning Joe awoke and found himself covered in (what he thought was) blood, so he predictably freaked the fuck out. I got you good you fucker. But this is where it gets even more ridiculous.

The alcoholic super decided this was the morning that he needed to show the apartment to 2 innocent young coeds. Joe tried to persuade him at the door, but old drunk John super was having none of it. Dadgum it, he was going to illegally show this apartment whether it was going to rent or not.

So he brings them in, past the trashed kitchen, into the living room which has 40s, caps, beer cans and probably drug paraphenalia strewn all over in the haphazard manner typical of a mini-bender.

Joe maybe still had blood on him and definitely was rocking a wife-beater covered in bacon grease. Paul was lying on the futon giggling maniacly. I, still asleep in my room, heard the commotion and burst out of the double doors in my boxers. Pretty much everybody is like, WTF is going on, except for Paulie, who is still giggling.

Needless to say no one else came to see our apartment for the rest of the year.

The kicker is the super still insisted on looking at the bedrooms, only to discover Joe's blood covered sheets.