What is wrong with you

"When I am king, you will be first against the wall"
-Radiohead, Paranoid Android

OK. So this is embarrassing, but I watched that show I'm a Celebrity: Get me out of here last night. In my defense my roommate had it programmed to record on the DVR, and I was too lazy to go upstairs. With any luck I'll never see it again and all memories of it will fade to black. The only reason I watched this episode in its entirety was this torture tank thing that looked like it might be a mass-waterboarding device, for the last segment of the show. As it turns out they just dumped some bugs in it. Also: The Phillies are on the West Coast.

Another thing that got me through this terrible terrible show was imagining what it would be like if Richard Dawson was the host. The idea of Schwarzenegger killing that jerkoff from the Hills (pictured above, with some rapper) is appealing. At one point the hills guy calls up some studio exec to whine about how being on a show with VH1 personalities and Lou Diamond Phillips is "devaluing his fame." Lou Diamond Phillips was in Young Guns, you fucking ingrate. And now my blissful ignorance to these Hills people's existence has been destroyed. Thanks, NBC.