The suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked

Yes yes, the World Series is upon us. Facing off Wednesday (that's two days from now!) in the shittiest stadium in baseball are two of the biggest losers in baseball, sports, and human history.

Representing the National League, we've got my beloved Phillies. Who just happen to be notoriously terrible. My only hope for a parade is the players youthful ignorance of their team's long history of losing in hilarious ways. Also, Charlie Manuel beating the shit out of local radio personalities with his colostomy bag.

And on the American League side, there is this team called the Tampa Bay Rays, nee Devils. This is what happens when the Christians run America. You take a perfectly respectable, animal-based mascot, and turn it into something from geometry or astronomy or comic books. Why not just make their name the Tampa Bay Gamma Rays? Riddle me that, majority owner Stuart Sternberg! Oh, "A beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida." Yes a beacon that has shone bright and strong since 1998.

Fucking christ. If Tampa Bay wins this I am going to be really close to giving up on ever seeing a Philadelphia sports championship. So much bitterness. You might think one would be better off sitting back and enjoying the glory that is Victorino. After all, its been a heck of a ride this season, almost as good as the ride one of my fellow season ticket holders got from a stripper he paid over $400 dollars.