Living in the fifth dimension. With lizards.

There was some big baseball news yesterday. No not Barry Bonds' indictment. Although I guess some people still give a shit about perjury or something. Me? I perjure myself on a regular basis. And by perjure myself I mean sit alone in my darkened apartment quietly whistling the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

No, the big news is noted time traveler Darren Daulton has finally released his book, detailing his life in the fifth dimension and providing his answers to life, the universe and everything. "If they only knew" takes a look at the the metaphysical relationships that shape our world, or something.

For a taste of what to expect, here's some downloadable audio where Dutch talks about experiencing different planes existence and realms. Also astrotravel.

I was poking around on Daulton's website, and I have to say the FAQs about the book are pretty amusing. "You were a baseball player, why are you writing about something nobody cares about?" and "I have seen you on TV but the pastor at my church has never said anything about this stuff. Why should I believe you?" for example. Apparently the webmaster decided not to post the "How does it feel to be crazier than Carl Everett?" question I submitted.

So if your not satisfied with surfer's explanations of how the universe fits together, check out Daulton's book. I already ordered mine from Amazon. The user reviews there are is pretty compelling. Like this:

At the heart of the book we find a man who believes that he has been chosen. Chosen?..for what u ask?...TO AWAKEN US.

There you have it. Darren Daulton is Jesus.