More badassery

Let's revisit the subject of the most popular post in the history of this here blog (5 Diggs? Holla!) with some more badass characters. Previously we took a look at some of the more obscure badasses in fictional history. Here we'll get probably more obscure, cause everyone loves things they haven't seen, right?

With some of these we may be veering away from badass and into sociopathic territory. It's a fine line. But we'll at least start with someone who could be called honorable. A word of warning, all these videos are probably NSFW.

Omar Little - A man's got to have a code. Omar's a modern day Robin Hood -- he robs drug dealers. Probably more than 50 percent of Wire fans would list him as their favorite character. His rep is so deadly that he can go wandering the streets in a bathrobe seeking Honey Nut Cheerios and dealers will hand over their stash. Also, he lies under oath to put murderers behind bars. And he never put his gun on a citizen. Let's look at a clip, the classic old-west style showdown with Brother Mouzone (a badass in his own right) in Season 3.
I keeps one in the chamber in case you ponderin'


Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files
This guy could more accurately called sinister. But I wanted to put some X-Files character on this list, and Alex Krycek just wasn't going to cut it, no matter how many hands he's had cut off by russians. Cigarette Smoking Man is basically the bad guy in this show -- always concealing the truth that Mulder wants to reveal. Mostly alien conspiracies and the like such as smallpox causing bees, black oil, and vampire gypsies. He's a cold-blooded killer whose talents benefit a global syndicate -- but while the members of the syndicate all live in posh mansions and own horse farms, the CSM lives in a meager apartment where he smokes and drinks in the dark while watching old black and white war movies on TV. And he killed JFK.

Anton Chigurgh
Here's where we really veer into sociopathic territory. Chigurgh is less a man than a force of nature. The only person who escapes his wrath is non-confrontational Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, because he keeps his head down and out of harms way. I'm pretty sure if I ever saw Javier Bardem in a pageboy gimping down the street I would run the other way, and fast. Also -- silenced shotgun? Clearly necessary. Here we have the coin-toss scene. Stupid gas station attendant, stop trying to make small talk with death incarnate.


Slim Charles
What? You expected only one character from The Wire? Wrong. The tall man proves his gangster cred repeatedly. He's a mercenary, pure and simple. First with the Barksdales, then Prop Joe, then the New Day Co-Op. Some of his highlights include bringing Cutty back in the game(albeit briefly) and 'That was for Joe.' He may be the only street character on the Wire to show sentiment and not pay for it. Here is a clip where he is counseling Avon Barksdale on their gang war with Marlo, or possibly middle eastern politics. Slim Charles for president!


Tony Montana
Here's our token Al Pacino appearance. What, you expected Big Boy Caprice in Dick Tracy? Sorry to disappoint. And yes, I know Scarface is awful. Brian De Palma made a super-stylized violent epic that's way too long (Better or worse film than Smoking Aces? discuss). But despite any problems the film has, Tony Montana is a fucking nutball. He's such a one-dimensional characture that he has earned the reverence of many a rapper who have been featured on MTV Cribs. He rises to the top of Miami's coke trade after escaping death by chainsaw. If you need more convincing, well, say hello to my little fren'

Lil' Ze in 'City of God'
For those who don't know, this movie is about some boys growing up in the slums of Rio de Janiero in the 60s and 70s. Shit is nuts, and I highly recommend seeing it despite the subtitles. Take it from Time Magazine, "The film is seductive, disturbing, enthralling — a trip to hell that gives the passengers a great ride." This movie is chock full o' badass, but Lil' Ze gets the nod here because he's the craziest cat in the craziest slum in the world. He's all business, a stone-cold killer from birth. Here we have Lil' Ze getting blessed by some sort of Brazilian priest and then taking over the city's drug trade followed by some other (unrelated) stuff that happens in the film. I wish you could still get weed in lids.

Hey look, it's some badass fictional characters!

Some of these are more obscure than others. And yes I'm aware I don't include John McClane, James Bond or Schwarzenegger in any incarnation. Too obvious. Plus these guys would kick the shit out of them. Well maybe not Dutch.

Keyser Soze from The Usual Suspects
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."


Rorschach from The Watchmen
I'm about halfway through arguably the greatest graphic novel ever, and Rorschach is a fucking nutball. He's he only costumed hero still around at the beginning of the novel (1985 or so, after the US was victorious in Vietnam and Nixon declared himself president for life). Speaks in monotone, murders prostitutes, is clinically insane. When the police capture him and take off his mask he screams for them not to take his face. So there's that. I'm sure there could be more but I don't want to do an research and spoil the ending.

Ash from Evil Dead/Army of Darkness
Dude has a fuckin' chainsaw for a hand. Seriously. Spouts off one-liners like its his job. THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK. Yeah, he works at S-Mart, so what? He fucks the undead's day up, for regular.


The Sandman from ECW
I'm not sure how "fictional" this guy is. He's this wrester from back in the day in "Extreme Championship Wrestling" whose schtick was coming out and drinking a bunch of beer and then smashing the cans on his head, often drawing blood. He was known for beating the shit out of people with a cane, and became known as the "extreme icon." I remember watching matches between him and Cactus Jack (aka Mankind aka Mick Foley) on borderline public access in the 90s where they would throw each other on barb wire and set each other on fire for 30 minutes. Also, he's fucking scary, just look at this photo.


Charles Bronson in any movie, lets say The Mechanic

You gotta give a shout out for the so-called "Granite face of destiny." Death Wish or the Magnificent Seven? Fuck and Yes.

Tyler Durden from Fight Club
A fictional character that only exists inside the brain of another fictional character. deeply badass. Plus he starts a series of fight clubs, eventually forming a vast underground network that he uses to build his own personal army. He then blows up a bunch of credit card headquarters or something to the Pixies. And he never sleeps.


Jack Shaftoe from The Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson
"Half-cocked" Jack, the king of the vagabonds, exists in this trilogy of historical fiction set around the turn of the century 1600. It's an epic read (seriously, each book is like 800 pages). In the first novel he is slowly going crazy from syphilis and gets into a bunch of ridiculous adventures -- including riding into a turkish harem, killing an Ostrich and abducting a prostitute; winning a war on the subcontinent via fiery phosphorus bombs made from his men's urine; and riding to a royal gathering on his warhorse and cutting off the arm of a prince, the so-called politest man in France. He was just being polite in his own badass way.
Later Shaftoe is part of a grand plan to break out from slavery and steal a cache of silver, nay gold, nay legendary gold. His badassery apparently is genetic. One of his progeny is Bobby Shaftoe from "Cryptonomicon" a black ops Marine who tells off Ronald Reagan while high on opium. In other words, if you haven't read any Stephenson, I recommend you give it a shot.

Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction
Everybody knows the old Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man et cetera et cetera. But I still think his best line is when he's cleaning up the car with Vincent:

Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doing in the back? You're the motherfucker who should be on brain detail! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull!

Gripping, compelling, and rich. Nevermind the fact that Jules is the only person in this movie (besides the Wolf obviously) who should really be called badass. Vincent? Killed after taking a dump. Marcellus Wallace? Raped. Mrs. Wallace? Can't handle her heroin. Zed? Balls blown off. Christopher Walken? Stored a watch up his ass. Butch? Has long conversations about pot bellies.

Anyway enjoy one of the greatest scenes in cinematic history.
Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.