BEWARE ... WEAPON X

Apparently that is the name of Dawkins' alter ego, seen in the picture above attacking one Clinton Portis' many alter egos. If you missed the pregame piece where BDawk brandishes wolverine claws, well you really missed out. He has healing factor!

I may or may not get some sort of lazy-ass liveblog going here, we shall see.
This has got to be the most homerific booth ever. Kornheiser just went on a ridiculous monologue about how he loves Joe Gibbs and wants to softly stroke his hair, and Jaworski pretty much bleeds Eagles green, having lead them to the super bowl and all. I can only hope this ends with Jaws telling Kornheiser he slept with his wife.

Haha Reno Mahe is getting the biggest cheers out of any of the Eagles. Fielding punts is serious business. That crazy Tongan bastard shares a bloodline with former Eagles punt returner turned local sportscaster Vai Sikahema, that's how you know he's good.

Donovan just scrambled but he is now slow, Eagles punt. I'd like to take this opportunity to question the blatant racial epithet that is the Redskins team name. I mean, isn't "redskin" pretty much a slur? It's not like the somewhat ambiguous Warrior" or an actual native american tribe, "Illini. Just saying. It's not as bad as the "New Orleans N*ggers" (it's a chocolate city?) but I don't think that "Chicago Degos" or "Los Angeles Wallbiters" would go over so well. Nips.

Ugh, this game is boring. Control the clock eh? Fuck you Joe Gibbs! I'm going to entertain myself by watching this video of Rob Stone straight pimping Julie Foudy and Heather Mitts live on air. I envy Rob Stone right now.


Huzzah, a bit of a drive. Future all-pro Jason Avant makes a nice catch falling out of bounds on third down, followed by a couple nice runs by Westbrook. Meanwhile, Andy Reid's family life is in shambles, like anyone cares. Garrett Reid just blew a line in the bathroom of a dive bar in Norristown.

Greg Lewis caught a little screen pass for three yards and got booed. Thats what he gets for muffing a punt. He probably has to gain about 50 yards before the fans will forget that. Meanwhile, Mike Tirico thinks the boos are because of the playcall. Mike Tirico is a moron.

Just checked in on the Phillies. They are beating the hell out of St. Louis. It will be unfortunate when they miss the wild card by one game. Can I place a bet on that? Seriously, I'll consider even odds with anyone that they finish one game out. It's what they do. In other news, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONOVAN COMPLETE A PASS. The clock is ticking, from what I hear.

Gah its halftime and I think this post is done. What a glorious game. It's 10-6 Redskins thanks to the last minute TD from Chris Cooley. I don't really mind losing to a guy who did 21 shots of Jim Beam, even if that story is likely made up.

For yourmy halftime entertainment, here's this video from the onion. Domestic violence=hilarity!

Sexy Doodle Dandy

Some of the best films are foreign.



Eagles take on the Foreskins tonight in a classic NFC East matchup. Go birds!



That's all for now.

Wherefore art thou, Jeremy Bloom?

I couldn't watch the entire Eagles-Packers game, because I was at work. Well I did watch the first half in its entirety because I was the only person in the newsroom. But then the enormously fat copy editor waddled in wheezing like a bastard.

Rather than engage in conversation with the 500 pound man while he devoured an entire 20-piece bucket from KFC, I went back to my desk. He then inexplicably changed the channel to the Phillies. I caught snippets of the second half, but fortunately missed the ending field goal.

So I'll avoid making any in depth analysis of the game, except to say -- Greg Lewis, WHY? Did you forget your crack? Seriously the guy is a dead ringer for Tyrone Biggums. Too bad the game was in crack-free Green Bay. If only they flew into Milwaukee, he could have run down to the corner. Then with his crack-fueled super senses he never would have muffed that punt in the first quarter, allowing the Pack their only touchdown.

Also, I'm pretty sure JR Reed had his leg amputated like 2 years ago. I guess it grew back? Like a starfish?

Yeah I don't have a point. Congrats Green Bay, maybe this week one victory will finally avenge 4th and 26. Can Freddie Mitchell can return kicks? I'm pretty sure he's available.

Anyway my (red)hat's off to Brett Favre and the rest of the Packers. You managed to take advantage of the Eagles' miscues and win your home opener. Surely Favre will get some robot parts installed midseason and guide that scrappy group of youngsters to the playoffs.

But beware Purple Jesus. He is a vengeful Jesus.

Saverio the moment (sorry)

In case you are unaware, the Eagles have a former Australian Rules football star on their roster. Sav Rocca played 15 season's down under, where gained a reputation as a "strong full-forward with a huge kick" whatever that means. He's competing with Dirk Johnson to be the eagles punter, and as hilarious as the name Dirk is, you gotta pull for the Aussie.

I'm trying to think of something funny to write, but all I can think of is "throw another shrimp on the barbie." Too bad he's not Austrian.

Sav did instantly endear himself to Iggles fans everywhere with his performance in the first preseason game. Boomed one 65 yards, got cheap shotted on the return and bounced right up with a goofy-insane grin. He's the video -- I especially enjoy the exuberant rantings of Ike Reese. I really hope they put him in the radio booth with Merrill and Mike Quick.