A voicemail message

Do you ever wake up at 3 a.m. because someone is calling you after they have had a bit too much fun? It's usually wise not to pick up, because the conversations are slurry and painful. Plus, the sleeping.

Here is one such message from a friends phone. Consider it edited for accuracy.

Hey it's me
I'm trashing my apartment
(pause)
(screaming)BECAUSE OF YOU
(Crashing sounds)
Also I'm naked while I'm doing this.
(More crashing sounds)
So fucking naked. Oh god everyone can see me.
(anguished cries) It's terrible.
Aughhhh! Aghhhh!
(click)

So there you go.